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jakey - resident evil 7 // rap review lyrics

[intro]
resident evil came back

[verse 1]
with a brand new fresh perspective
like this sh-t’s good, but no fright, my appet-te
wants something more like this to get spooky
environments that feel more real than horror movies
capcom came back to the roots (god d-mn)
dude somebody had to fill them shoes (oh god d-mn!)
got that 1080p 60 fps
i haven’t been this chill since i ate that jill sandwich

please dont you go get it twisted
it might be fps but it ain’t shifted
it brought back novelties like item management
low ammo count means scavenging environment
got them item based puzzles back too (dog bless)
except theyre easier than sh-t d-mn dude (aw sh-t)
and theres a lot more stealth, but it doesnt really help that without vr you can’t peek around shelves (oh no)

[chorus]
it may not look like re, but underneath it all there’s a story to see
now i’m looking back at the things that i see
look them in the face and say
i know where you live, i know where you live, i know where you live (oh noo nooo)

[verse 2]
young jakey bring the fire, bring the bullets, bring the pocket knife too
all these guns make me feel like i’m in bad boys 2
i’m a real bad dude with a shotgun too
the boomstick in this games among the best ive used
chick pow, chick boom, baby chicken got spooked
just kidding, im not
just kidding, i-i p–ped my pants, but only like 60 times
if i p–ped 9 more thats a 69 (okay)

i’m loving how this game feels
but i dont love the boring enemies, i’ve been real
the old games got more enemy variety
but now i only get the molded saying hi to me
no patience for the hide and seek, unless its imogen heap
mmmmm whatcha -ss say when you scream at me
the voice acting is surprisingly quality given the qualities previous games had problems in quant-ty

f-cking up the compet-tion far as i know
this can outlast outlast fo sho
the kind of terror that sticks with you
on a level beyond what jump scares do
it ain’t perfect, it’s flawed
but it’s a d-mn good new fresh start
for a series so close to my heart
i’m happy youre back to your spooky -ss
dark capcom dog bless

[outro]
its not what i expected
but the story had me chilled by the end
i’ve read the vr is insane
so maybe play that with a friend
i’ve got my gripes and sh-t
some things i would’ve changed
but it’s a solid 8 outta 10 because its a great game ( stay sharp )

[youtube patreon-outro]
shout out to my good friend teri, f-ck around his -ss is scary
also shout out to my hot boy cameron bishop
real real sweet giving me the hiccups
and my golden boy cinovox, more legendary than the tale of goldie locks
and who could forget that 9 pound silicone c-ck
dude’s got a magnum dong (uh huh)
i’m also talking bout that foxymophandle, everything that dude does is a d-mn scandal
and whats that sweet sweet smell im smelling?
oh thats will melon
and last but before ill be leaving, i gotta thank that hot boy stephen
all of you have been so god d-mn kind, thank you for believing
follow me on twitter, follow me on instagram, follow me on twitch
and we could livestream a thanksgiving ham
good lord, good gravy what the sh-t you should shave me
my beard is so gross that i look like a baby who had a malfunction on his face
got so much hair coming out of that sweet little soft -ss face
babies are cute, i got a little nephew, he’s cute too
what the f-ck happened, why are all these babies so cute?
get these babies out of my room

- jakey lyrics

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