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jakob leichtman - if i lyrics

verse 1:
losing family left and right, got me thinking bout my own life
people left me before now i’m poppin’ they back overnight
20 turning 21, my life about a quarter done
if i die too young, love my life, spread my ashes out in london
2014 fell in love, 16′ couldn’t get enough
17′ i’m going back, bout to f-ck the summer up
shoulda died so many times man i’m countin’ all my blessings
at northeastern but they can’t even teach me all these lessons
i am not to be messed with, life lately got me stressin’
can’t stop texting exes tellin’ them where to meet me where i’m next and
still trying to find happiness while accepting my depression
huanchacho beach on the sandbars with jose and mary, that’s my medicine, headed for the top no
excedrin, lost you once won’t lose you again
care too much i can’t pretend, my best friend but i want us to be
more, now my heart is sinking lower than the sea floor
trailblaze my own path, god sent me on a detour
love you more than myself, you’re the one i’ll always adore
you’re my drug and i’m addicted, you’re my drug and i’m itchin’
broken heart, you can fix it, hurry quick cuz i’m back to mixing
ovo and xo mixed with the hennessy
just a dab of sal houdini got me venting plenty
parents lost me when they left me
society still won’t accept me
but they don’t know the best me
i got the answers so come and test me

hook (2x):
if i die tomorrow, just know i lived a good life
if i die tomorrow, just wish i found a good wife
if i die tomorrow, i’ma go out on a good night
if i die tomorrow, i’ll make sure you’re all good alright

verse 2:
paul walker of rap, i’ll be happy if the music k!lls me
as long as i’m changing lives and i know that people feel me
put that on my mother that i never got to meet, d-mn
put that on my father that i never got to meet, d-mn
but the dad i got right now, he’s the bar i’m set out to beat
cuz all three of them combined is how i came to be
fake smiling during the day, really cryin’ when the sun goes down
but i’ll never understand why you didn’t want to keep me around
to the ones who stuck with me, tryna repay you everyday
everything i do my way of saying “i love you” in every way
said “be good” when we said “goodbye”, but you left me with the “why?”
couldn’t stop the crying, thought i ruined your life, kept me up at night
still tryna make it right, that’s what life been like lately
love me or hate me, can’t change me, that’s how you made me
life’s a game we all playin’ but you shouldn’t have played me
cannot change the outcome so stop tryna change me
cashier turned rapper, been countin’ since the 10th grade
push me here, ponce saved me, i said “don’t tempt me”
robin williams make em happy, still feeling empty
need me in large amounts on the daily, call me “venti”
what more do you want from me?
stop taking chances on me
i’m the lottery stop tryna to mold me
i am not pottery, do you know yourself
do you know your worth why the f-ck you
think i gave you everything, so i could put all y’all first
shoulda k!lled you before, already bought the f-ckin’ he-rs-

- jakob leichtman lyrics

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