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james corden - drop the mic w/ jeff goldblum lyrics

james: hey, jeff

jeff: h-llo, james

james: you sure you’re ready for what’s about to happen?

jeff: am i ready? i’m so ready to eat your lunch and drink your milkshake. they’re gonna call you corden blue

james: here’s the thing, jeff. i’ll joke with you about anything. i will joke with you about sport, i will joke with you about politics,i will joke with you about s-x. if you joke about stealing my f-cking lunch again, i will finish you. alright. joshua, gimme a beat!

[round 1: james corden]
jeff’s been a legendary actor for years
if you like overacting from a guy who talks weird
he dresses like he walked into a random thrift shop
looked at a rack and said, “i’ll take everything you’ve got”
you’re perfect for a movie where they need someone cheesy
and can use a ted danson who is much more creepy
but when they first cast you as the lead in the fly,
they thought “repulsive gross creature”, i know just a guy

jeff: professor silverstein, a beat, please. something like this…

[round 1: jeff goldblum]
i saw the cats trailer, and quickly noticed you
you’re the weirdest part of it, and that’s hard to do
seeing you as a cat was completely unnerving
but how you like in real life is much more disturbing
is there any chance we can send him back to the brits?
why did we trade meghan markle for something like this?
and you’re a father, i’m shocked you get laid
but hey, i guess it’s true, life, uh, finds-finds a way

james: josh, give me a beat

[round 2: james corden]
you’re in a jazz band, isn’t that right?
i’m amazed you found a way to make jazz more white
and your role in the movie thor, you should be ashamed
you’re the only marvel character not in endgame.
and some genie must have had one h-ll of a gig
’cause you like nick kroll made of a wish to be big
and your wife’s a gymnast, that’s for the best
’cause finding you attractive must really be a stretch

jeff: gimme that beat, gimme that beat!

[round 2: jeff goldblum]
when you say i’m unattractive, it’s obvious you’re lying
you look like andy richter ate conan o’brien
and you hosted tony’s for actors who sing
which is funny, ’cause you suck at both those things
crosswalk a musical makes you star
because people tune in to hope you get hit by a car
when you were born, i was already 25
which means i’ve been a s-x symbol longer than you’ve been alive

james: alright, josh. let’s end this guy

[round 3: james corden]
jeff calls himself a thespian, but he’s wrong
you think brando would’ve done ads for apartments.com?
your role in jur-ssic park was easy, i bet
since you’re so old you have a dinosaur as a pet
wes anderson movies, you ruined all those
though it appears you leave the set with all of his clothes
the fact that you’re popular is just crazy
and proof that they’ll bring back any sh-t from the ’80s

jeff: i got it. you’re out, baby. you’re out, baby. yeah, i caught it. i leaped at the fence, i leaped at the warning track, i got it, i’m sorry. joshua, a beat please

[round 3: jeff goldblum]
i saw ocean’s 8 and that really was a switch
it starred 8 awesome women and one giant b-tch
julia roberts was snubbed for an emmy this year
but you’re nominated for 7, sure, that seems fair
gavin & stacey’s back, so fans can view it as a christmas special, well, thank god i’m jewish
i’m done with you, james, what can i say
hey, i just k!lled an alien, hey, that’s an independence day.

- james corden lyrics

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