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james mac - dear god lyrics

[verse]
dear god, i think it’s time we had a conversation
the lonely nights is getting to me so my mind is racing
i think about this life i’m living and my creation
i don’t want this no more, i need to be under sedation
i get lonely at times, and then i write these rhymes
the only money that i’m getting is from all of my crimes
i hate this and it feels like i’ve been here a million times
i can hardly remember when i was in my prime
i’m laying in bed, and i don’t know what’s next
i think about this position, i get angry and vexed
i could be here counting the money from my last cheque
but i’m here contemplating why my life is so complex
dear god, tell me am i wrong?
for livin’ the life of tramp surrounded by icons
they telling i’m the greatest but i never hear ‘em
‘cause i ain’t hit the pinnacle, yeah, i’m still persevering
demons talking in my ears and i always fear ‘em
i was thinking i’m on their level, i ain’t even near ‘em
i just hate this negativity and lack of this tranquillity
they say i’m a hypocrite but i call it flexibility
yeah, it’s my life, my wrongs and my rights
my effort, writing songs and sleepless nights
ain’t n0body been coming around
trust me homie, next year you’ll be loving my sound
not a single one of you motherf-ckers believe in my brand
extend a hand, and you’re gonna want to be my man
i think not, you quick to shapeshift like ink blots
i am a k!ller, i make cl-ssics
what about that time i was a teen, and my raps were gonna further me
don’t think i forgot that sh-t, it never discouraged me
the words never came out my throat
‘i can’t rap’ i screamed ‘i can’t rap’, mama
i couldn’t take the drama, felt i was in some trauma
what the f-ck?
where were you then, god? tell me now!
how am i supposed to stay sane? tell me how!
why you let me scream and why you let me cry?
i looked up to the sky, felt like my hope was a lie, i’ll never know
set to detonate, i gotta blow, that sh-t fo’ sho
i used to wonder why in the h-ll you would make me suffer
but now, in the end, i understand that it made me tougher

[outro]
dear god, tell me will i make it
if i get the opportunity then ima take it
looking back at these raps in my adulthood, i’ve made it
striving, determined, relentless, don’t mistake it

- james mac lyrics

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