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jaqkel - i'm afraid of being an inspiration.. lyrics

[verse 1]
i’m sick of all the tears
i thought the wells behind my eyes would dry over the years
they said that earth is a paradise but i don’t see it here
not the one i’m on
i’m living in the negative energy that i’ve drawn
to myself want the help but i decline because my pride
i came from a long line of pure deception and lies
the truth lies inside the bottle, every time i would hear it
from the man that raised me, his truth is now apparent
his colors are now ugly, his views are misconstrued
he refused to understand the dark that we go through
but i understand him, sober or not
fact it’s a family curse just thickens the plot
they all told me to pray but i bare my fangs at god
as a teen we been at odds, struggle to find my cause
it was a slow race, i steady kept my pace
cuz i’m a role model, a choice that i didn’t make

[verse 2]
i don’t understand why kids look up to me
i lied to myself so good luck to me
it’s all of a facade really my spirit is weak
i break down every night, the reason i try to seek
but i can’t let them see, they’re more important than me
i’ll be the hero and slay the demons that haunt in their sleep
i can’t do this alone, as difficult it might be
though my journey is long, would you walk it with me?
would you carry my seed?
would you promise to be by my side as long fate would allow us to be?
cuz this world needs love and it starts with ourselves
but the self+hatred i have for myself is deeper than h+ll
but what you don’t know you learn and i’m willing to change
a shift is all we need for things to fall in place
it was a slow race i steady kept my pace
cuz i’m a role model a choice that i didn’t make

- jaqkel lyrics

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