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jared dines - jarrod alonge diss track lyrics

usually i’d start off with some fire
about a youtuber that should retire
but then it took a second to finally dawn on me
you’ve never even heard of jarrod alonge

remember when we were pals, remember jared week?
when my views took a dive and yours were at their peek
you were getting so much love, your channel was ablaze
yet, i get your whole sub count in less than 90 days
this is the end of team jarrod, old pal
and i’ll be d-mned if i get clowned on by a budget weird al
you dissing on me is probably just a ploy
to finally get you p-ssed 200k on youtube, boy

you suck my b-tt
you suck my nuts
ha ha ha

i think of all the times you used to go to warped tour
all those poor bands thinking, “what is he here for?
just to annoy us with some tired -ss skit?”
bro is that your breath? or did someone just take a sh-t?
$25,000 raised for your alb-m? you think it would have shown
i’ve made better records with a potato and a microphone
let’s see some receipts, show us where you spent it
you claim money makes it sound better, you misrepresent it

i think your video ideas have run their f-cking course
misheard lyrics? talk about ‘beating a dead horse’
you’re the most overrated artist i know by far
if youtube was star wars, you’d be f-cking jar jar
300 videos and still no success? you’re at a crossroad
you might as well go back and work on $wagch0de
delete your channel, son. no one’s going to miss you
and if you start to cry, grab that box of f-cking tissues
pretend to be me at the apma awards
you’ll never beat me now! fall on your sword!

i always wondered why you never sang with your own voice
but after that song, i know that it was the right choice
you’d think with all those vocalist videos, you would learn to sing
canadian softball is a good name since your life is on a downswing

crazy 88 is worth ignoring
if it weren’t for lauren, we’d all be snorin’
i just really want you to write songs less boring
you suck!

writing covers to support your alb-m. man, what a sk!ll
what should i expect from a band
who stole its name from k!ll bill
how to pr-nounce band names? man, what a bore
you should teach them how to say your name
they’ve never heard before

apparently a parody is all you will ever be
you work for fearless but we all know
that you’re mother f-cking scared of me

go away alonge!
go away!
it’s time for the big boys to play!
go away alonge!
go away!
you smell like dirty laundry!

- jared dines lyrics

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