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jarrett sorko - i'm dope lyrics

[verse 1]
you know i think i’m cool, but i’m not
on the internet looking at how to find a g spot
i’m google taught yo, so not strong
when a fight breaks out i’m gonna call my mom
it’s friday, and i want to get it on
but instead i’m at home playing pokémon
cause girls don’t text me, so not s-xy
watching my weight drinking diet pepsi
and if you met me i’d probably talk about the weather
sipping on a girly drink they taste much better
and beneath my sweater there’s a mole on my back fat
no six pack, i’ve been afraid that
i’m probably gonna die in a natural disaster
so i keep my legs shaved so i can swim faster
yaaaaaaaaaaa, i’m wearing two different socks
and my heart’s still racing from a balloon that popped

[hook]
i’m dope, i’m dope, but just stems and seeds
fresh to death like a cat in a washing machine
i’m dope, i’m dope, something’s bong with me
cause all my swag was free from companies
i’m dope, i’m dope, i’d fail a drug test clean
always sick like hypochondriacs with stds
i’m dope, i’m dope, as dope as dope could be
cause dope stopped being dope last century (i’m dope)

[verse 2]
gurl, you can never be this suave
got a bang bros. shortcut on my desktop
cause i’m ballin’ but, i can’t dunk
a three-year member of oprah’s book club
i’m just a f-ggy rockstar with a tattoo’d arm
making cr-ppy rap songs over sh-tty guitar
i’ll never ball so hard, i’m a sensitive guy
i always end up crying when mufasa dies
so it’s no surprise that i can’t lift sh-t
even my mom thinks i’m a weak -ss b-tch
i’m still living at her house in a bas-m-nt
i’m even awkward when i’m talking to a waitress
ahh but i’m awesome, i’m the greatest
i only had 2 beers now i’m wasted
ya, let’s face it, i wear bracelets
most likely getting laid using craigslist

[hook]

[break]
i’m part of love club, not fight club
i fit in bathtubs, not nightclubs
and i’m bad at flirting drunk or sober
but i know what to do when zombies take over
so even when i’m lucky and i’m dancing with some chickas
all my dance moves look like robots having seizures
hair stays spiked cause it’s not clean
haven’t showered in a fortnight, maybelline
is what i use to cover up
mark me absinthe, i’m still drunk
in my duvet bedspread, all day bed head
white girl wasted like hamburger bread gets
rockstar life, everyday
except i’m broke as f-ck and i don’t get laid
i’m like macaulay culkin when i have s-x
cause home alone is when i do it best

[hook]

- jarrett sorko lyrics

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