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jas - addicted lyrics

[verse 1]
the more that i want it, the more that it haunts me
with every single thought, every night it keeps taunting
the monstrous monster inside me, reminding
of what i can’t have in my hold
it keeps winding and calling
i can hear the echoes of the crying and sobbing
nothing can calm it, it’s fighting
just fight it, and mosh it, and drive it to silence
but it always finds a way to be heard through the sirens
never give up on it, advice from the wise
too bad my life has some different guidelines
everything i want, can never be mine
no matter how much i fight, or how hard i try
i see your eyes as we p-ss in the halls
and i sink, in a second and i feel like i’m already on the brink
of destruction
this sucks and, no one sees my pain
what you think i like the rain?
it washes the bl–dy veins
it helps me clear my brain from
all these f-cking thoughts of the future
that are destined to be left inside a box
in the bas-m-nt of my soul
it’s you i f-cking want
you’re the only one i need, can’t you see it? did it knock?
why didn’t you answer it?
why’d you leave me all alone?
don’t you wanna have someone?
now i know you f-cking don’t
i’m so cold, but i’ll explode
kept it down for long enough
your heart’s the f-cking drug and i’m addicted to your love

[hook]
they told me i could have any girl that i dreamed of
they meant i could have anyone but you
they said when i find her i’ll know that it’s real love
but i’m still looking
and i have no clue, i have no clue, i have no clue
you were the one, but i can’t have you
i have no clue, i have no clue, i have no clue
what i should do

[verse 2]
i always seem to do this, use this senseless music
when it’s clearly in your eyes that you don’t even give two sh-ts
how could i be so mother f-cking stupid
why couldn’t i see it? there was no point to do it
but i did it, and i fell
lost it all and i’m in h-ll
still fighting to get out, climbing up this wall of nails
bleeding everything that’s left
when i’m almost at the top
i can see your blurry image telling me to never stop
nothing’s clear, it’s just a dream. you would never care for me
i guess i want what i can’t have, and it’s oh so clear to see
that i’m obviously alone, in a world that’s growing cold
with every day a new book, and another story told
but the same idea remains, that i should never be happy
losing my grip on reality – poor f-cking sad me
i’ve invested time in this, not just this but everything
every single song i wrote, and every f-cking phone ring
with you on the other end
disconnected but still present
f-ck my past, f-ck my future, f-ck this motherf-cking sentence
like i’m cursed to be in prison, and in a cage of disappointment
no one’s getting close to me, my life is proving pointless
if i could swap a few things
maybe switch it all or change it
i would wish i never met you, and wish that i was famous
have a billion dollars so that i’m numb when all the pain hits
i knew it would be rough, but i didn’t think it’d be this blatant
i’m done

[hook]

- jas lyrics

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