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jason howland - the weekly volcano press lyrics

[jo, sung]
i came to new york on a dream
i knew it might take me awhile
but all i’ve been hearing since i arrived
is leave it right there on the pile

so today i woke up
and decided it’s time
time to achieve
time to thrive
time to climb

[professor bhaer, spoken]
miss march, tell us what happened

[jo, sung]
sometimes when you dream
your dream is just a guess
sometimes, when you work really hard
you don’t know if you’ll ever find success

so i grabbed a story to sell
and got ready to raise h-ll
then i marched out the door
and headed right for the weekly volcano press

[professor bhaer, spoken]
henry dashwood, now he is a man of taste

[jo, sung]
dashwood was a fiend
he sneered at my distress
tossed my story high on a stack
but i was determined i would progress

i said ‘sir, i’ll wait while you read’
but alas, he disagreed
so i jumped on a chair
and read it right there at the weekly volcano press

[professor bhaer, spoken]
you did what?

[jo, as clarissa]
keep away from me, you wretch!

[jo, as braxton]
i cannot keep away
your beauty draws me
your p-ssion ignites me

[professor bhaer, spoken]
oh, it’s the one with all the horror in it
the blood bath

[jo, spoken]
that’s the one
but i took to heart what you said and i embellished
i made it better

[jo/braxton, sung]
i’ve got to have you

[jo/clarissa, sung]
i defy you!

[braxton]
i will take you!

[clarissa]
let me by you!
let go! let go!
let go, let go, let go!

[jo, spoken]
rodrigo appears, in magnificent splendor!

[rodrigo, spoken]
unhand that woman, villain!

[clarissa & braxton, spoken]
who are you?

[rodrigo, sung]
i am your destiny
your bitterest foe
i’ve come to avenge your crimes
of ten years ago

[braxton/clarissa, spoken]
agh!/ahh!

[rodrigo, spoken]
run to the forest! run!

[clarissa]
i can’t! the forest is dangerous!
my sister went in there and never returned!

[rodrigo]
you must risk it! you must take the dark path!
your fate awaits you!

[braxton]
she will never escape me!

[rodrigo]
hurry!

[braxton]
en garde

[rodrigo]
go, now!

[clarissa]
ah!

[jo, sung]
dashwood was aghast
but i could not care less
words i spoke ignited the air
i felt like a publishing lioness

that’s when dashwood started to shout
and i thought he’d throw me out
but then i persevered, and a forest appeared
at the weekly volcano press

(spoken)
the forest is dark and scary
clarissa enters, trembling, fearful of what fate awaits her
she comes to a fork in the road and stops

[clarissa]
which way do i go?

[jo]
a hag appears

[clarissa]
ahh!

[hag, sung]
i can help you choose
but you must make a sacrifice
give me something, dear
those combs are nice

[clarissa, sung]
without these combs
what will i be?

[hag]
perhaps a hag as dull as me

[clarissa]
i can’t

[hag]
you’ll never know your destiny
unless you give up vanity

[clarissa]
i’ve got to know
please show me where to go

[hag]
your fate awaits you there!

[jo, spoken]
the path is perilous
she avoids swamps, she loses her footing!
her shoes tumble off
the sleeve of her dress gets caught on a twisted limb
she comes to wild rapids and can go no further

[clarissa, spoken]
how should i get across?

[jo]
a troll appears

[troll, sung]
if you want to cross
you must pay me
i’ve the only boat that can get you there alive

i see you wear a necklace
that holds a pretty jewel
my price to get across is what you’re wearing ‘round your neck
oh how it’s glitter makes me drool

[clarissa, sung]
i’ve nothing left but this
my prospects are so bleak

[troll]
you’ll never know what wisdom is
unless you give up all your riches

[clarissa]
here, it’s yours
now show me distant sh-r-s

[troll]
i’ll take you to your fate!

[jo]
sometimes when you dream
your dreams come true
in extraordinary ways
suddenly a day can be so amazing

and sometimes when you yearn
you burn the air
and someone else feels the flame
you always knew was there

[knight, spoken]
stop, please!

[clarissa, spoken]
i cannot stop!

[knight]
can you not give a tired old knight some -ssistance?

[clarissa]
i have nothing left to give

[knight]
give me your time!

[clarissa]
my fate awaits me!

[knight]
can you not care for me?
it’s been years since i felt the touch of another hand

[clarissa]
then take mine
and take my shawl, ragged as it is

[knight]
you have now completed your journey
my sword is yours
it will protect you against your enemies
you may now return to the moors

(sung)
your fate is in your hands

[jo, spoken]
and clarissa raced from the forest
raced to the moors where she called
“i have returned, braxton!
i will free the moors of your tyranny!
fight me!”

[braxton, spoken]
i always knew you’d come back to me
they always do

[clarissa]
ahh!

[jo]
clarissa thrusts, she parries!
she backs up braxton and pins him against a tree!
she leaps up on a craggy rock, her sword
swishing and swooshing!

never has she been more determined
she is on fire!

pity she hadn’t taken dueling lessons

out of nowhere, who should appear
but the long forgotten rodrigo!

[rodrigo]
this is your end, villain!
i’ve waited i lifetime to destroy you!

[braxton]
who are you?

[rodrigo]
i am your worst nightmare, braxton

[beth as rodrigo]
i am her sister!

[clarissa]
ahh!

[braxton]
agghh!

[jo, sung]
and then dashwood got on his knees
crying “sell this to me please.”

[professor bhaer, spoken]
miss march!

[jo]
then he ordered four more
now i’m writing for
the weekly volcano press

[jo/clarissa/rodrigo] | [bhaer/hag/troll/knight/mrs.kirk]
i’m ready for destiny | sometimes when you dream
my tresses are curled | your dreams come true
i’ll take what is rightly mine | in extraordinary ways
with curtains unfurled | suddenly a day can be so amazing
i will not quit, i won’t be forgotten | and sometimes when you yearn
i will shine, i’ll dazzle and more | you burn the air
i’m ready to take a bow | and then you are not the same
i’ve taken a solemn vow | when someone else feels the flame
my destiny here, and now | you always knew
i’ll astonish the world | was there

- jason howland lyrics

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