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jay foreman - the procrastinator (2009 musical comedy awards version) lyrics

[intro]
for my last song…
this is one that umm, ed+umm…
…specifically requested that i play a song
…and i’ve mentioned this
thank you very much

[chorus]
i am the procrastinator
make way for me
i will do everything
eventually

[verse]
but first i’ll fold my clothes and pile them up in order
so the largest thing is on the floor
and then i’ll take my phone
and get rid of the messages that i don’t need anymore
i’ll make a numbered list of things i have to do
sit long on the toilet, even though i don’t need to
[pre+chorus]
build a playing card tower
have a power shower
bite my nails, pick my nails
doing nothing never fails
la la la la la la
la la la la
laa la la la la la
la la la la la la

[chorus]
i’m the procrastinator
make way for me
i will do everything
eventually

[verse]
but first i’ll go outside and get a bit of exercise
by riding around on my bike
and then i’ll go next door and spend hours
talking to the guy that i don’t even like
i’ll take my posters down and put them up again
go on my computer, log on msn

[part 2 bridge]
msn
msn
who said msn…?
[part 2 verse]
if you go on msn
a terrible thing will happen to you
you will sit and stare for hours
and people you don’t like will talk to you

[part 2 chorus]
don’t go on msn
don’t go on msn
don’t go on msn
don’t go on msn

[part 2 verse]
they say “hi”
you say “hi” back
they say “how are you?”
you say “good thx, how are you?”
they say “fine thanks”
and you’ll say nothing else all afternoon

[part 2 chorus]
don’t go on msn
don’t go on msn
don’t go on msn
facebook is even worse
[part 3 bridge]
facebook
facebook
don’t get me started on facebook

[part 3 verse]
they say that there’s no cure for facebook
your life is simply at an end
once you cl!cked on “view more photos…
“of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend”

[part 3 chorus]
facebook is even worse
facebook is even worse
facebook is even worse
facebook’s worse than msn

[part 4]
have you noticed something that’s happened on facebook?
it’s amazing, it’s fantastic, it’s the biz
you know the bit where you edit your status?
no longer does it have to start with “is”

gone are the days of
“steven allen is can’t believe what he’s done”
no longer can we see
“emma wright is can you sponsor me for my fun run?”
everyone will suddenly have to be
much more and yet much less creative
and from now on anyone still using “is”
will be considered really boring

so from now on, life will be different on facebook
we can get our message across with ease
’cause from now on, when we edit our status
we can use any verb in any tense that we please

[part 5 pre+chorus]
build another tower
have another shower
paint my nails, eat my nails
doing nothing never fails
la la la la+la la la
la la la la
laa la la la+la la la
la la+la la la la

[part 5 chorus]
i am the procrastinator
make way for me
i will do everything
eventually

thank you very much!
my name’s jay foreman!
see you soon! bye!

- jay foreman lyrics

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