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jbrawny - delusions of a teenage mind lyrics

[verse 1]
this is my own delusions from my teenage mind
read between the lines, sit as i let out and unwind
my mental state declined as i drew a blind eye
to your toxicity and left my morals behind
sh-t, i tried to be kind but you didn’t seem to care
in despair, id break down and tear out all of my hair
i tried to be there for you, yet you pushed me away
with all this pain i grew insane, my mental state decayed
yet id remain by your side, evade the truth yet afraid
cause i was betrayed, i knew i would be replaced
yet i stayed, inspite of what everyone was sayin’
but i was ignorant, love blinded me you could say
i was used, treated badly, insulted, abused
yet everytime we fought, i was blamed and accused
and to conclude in the end i found out she cheated
it was like i was beaten and so i fell down, defeated
yet i pleaded to you to just tell me the truth
i can’t be this depressed in my days of youth!
yet you told i was wrong over and over again
“i chose you in the end, id never do that!” she said
but as i think and write down these bars with my pen
i was right, she cheated on me with her friend

[verse 2]
this ain’t no delusion from my teenage mind
but she cheated so that makes all my wrongs a right
every night out of spite, man, we’d have a fight
we both acted tough, all bark, no bite
id scream at you in public or when we called
b-tch, how could you? you was the best of em all!
in our brawls i swear i coulda torn down my walls
in a fit of rage id make you feel small
but in truth, i felt small, you gave no sh-ts
and because of that, i fell in depressions pit
i knew we wouldn’t last, i was ignorant to that
all i could justify was that i loved you nat
despite the fact i loved you, one thing was clear
that my fears were reality, the end was near
i kept my hopes up for us, but sh-t, who knew?
that you’d be the one to say that were through

[verse 3]
this seems to be a big delusion from my teenage mind
but as i move on, i realized the fault was also mine
why down her in shame when im also to blame?
she made a, road with abuse, and we walked that lane
listen, nataly, me and you are one in the same
but i have to be the one to put this bridge in flames
i played into your games, you played into my games
but its time to grow up and make a f-cking change
im sorry for the abuse, manipulation and insults
and while you may have cheated, i cheated, its also my fault
i loved you like no other but jealousy took over
and once that happened we were destined to just be over
i wrote this d-mn song for some f-cking closure
but its like after this song, im carrying a boulder
cause without you nataly, im a lousey loner
without your, toxic love, my heart beats slower

- jbrawny lyrics

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