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jeff dunham - a jalapeño on a steek! lyrics

what is josé jalapeno on a stick?
you’re a sick man!
and here is josé jalapeno! (crowd cheers)
good evening, josé
hola, senor jeff
alright, it’s good to see you it’s good to see you
gracious, senor jeff
excuse me? what?
who the h-ll is heff?
he said jeff
no he said heff
it’s the same thing. uhh no its nooott
josé, what ya say? i said senor jeff (cracking sound)
what the fu. now he said (cracking sound)
it’s all the same. haven’t you watched seseme street?
jeff is jeff. heff is heff. and (cracking sound) is (cracking sound)
(from one of these things) one of these things that doesn’t belong here!
tonights show is sponsered by the sound grrrrrkkk
i’m sorry josé. it’s okay, he’s an idiot
your on a stick! stick-a-col. jeff-fa-fa. ha-ha-ha!
i have a question for josie! (crowd claps)
my name is josé. oh i’m sorry. i thought we were we in america speaking frickin english
but i didn’t see the ch-over the eeee. which magicly turns josie to frickin josé
and i didn’t see the yoah-over the n… which turns jalapeno into jalghapeno
so, yoah-over the internet – ch-over the eeeee. two keys that i can’t frickin find on a frickin keyboard
apparently, it is a secret nononono to the mexicans
so, josé when you’re typing… (gasps) oh i’m so sorry!
talking about huntin’ peck
i’m sorry josé. it’s okay. i’m gonna hire ackman to k!ll him
so what’s your question? be nice
um, your jalapeno. si senor. on a steek! right
your a mexican jalapeno… on a steek! right…
are you a illegal mexican jalapeno?
woah. what i say? this is not the apporite time and place to ask it
too late! (laughs)
so josé… are you illegal what? i know the answer to that question. what? josé
si senor. are you legal to be in this country?
si senor… okay. i have my green card. ah
where is your green card? it’s in my other steek. (crowd laughs)
did you know that he had another stick? i had noo idea
you know what that meanns… what? that means that one comes out… (crowd claps & cheers)
oh my gawdddd. i thought it was stuck up in his -ss. what’s wrong? he doesn’t have an -ss. it’s just a jalapeno. on a steek… i know!!
how did he get on the stick? i don’t know. probably a horrible pogo accident. you know, (imatates po-gos, ripping sound)
ohlay!

- jeff dunham lyrics

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