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jeff smith - you don't know me lyrics

(1st verse)
i’ve been lied on, robbed, fired from my job
been through the depths of h-ll wondering where is god?
if there’s a heaven, and a power’s that’s so higher
why babies die from gunshot wounds and house fires
sometimes i hit the weed and just meditate
could be ahead in life, if i ain’t hesitate
nearly losing my life for fake street resumes
ashamed, probably why i smoke til i levitate
tryna forget memories that bring nothing but misery
suicidal thoughts, these flashbacks be k!lling me
make me drink the hennessey and mastermind the end of me
but i’ll leave that in the hands of my enemies
they say everyone is born with a purpose
what happens when you’re born feeling worthless
and insecure, in another 24 without jack bauer
painful, would’ve been better off on a towel
apparently, i’m a disappointment to my parents
my speculations caused me to stop caring
my heart stopped beating on a november evening
the day my grandma gave up and stopped breathing
right after my last visit, and the news was heavy on my heart
still a n-gg- had to get lifted
i loss control so how you think you controlling me n-gg-
you think you know but you don’t know me like i know me n-gg-

(hook)
the ups and downs, the highs and lows
wasted time wondering where it go
hiding my pain so the smiles will show
you clueless for sho, you shouldn’t speak on things you don’t know
i be singing the blues like (crooning)
i be singing the blues like (crooning )

(2nd verse)
i’ve been homeless, broke, suicidal and underpaid
i was more of a loose cannon in my younger days
kept a lot of things hidden from my mama
my life was like a movie, i was addicted to drama
i pitched a little c-ke, i pitched a little weed
even partic-p-ted in a few b&e’s
being a follower lead me to bad places
but lucky me, i avoided death and catching cases
another day to show my strength and my stamina
never thought i’d see the day that i’ll become a janitor
and i feel taken advantage of
they won’t promote a n-gg- to full time so never mind becoming a manager
i need benefits along with a bigger check
and moms wonder why i still smoke cigarettes
sometimes i think i’m better dead off
intoxicated late nights contemplating blowing my head off
maybe i need a shrink, maybe i need a friend
maybe i need a piece of heaven just to breathe again
cause mentally i was just in h-ll
and happiness ain’t for sell, gotta find it through self
i’m just a little n-gg- with a big heart
life us a big show and i’m just playing my part
it took years for me to see the light standing in the dark
giving it up is easy but surviving is h-lla hard
but what you know n-gg-

- jeff smith lyrics

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