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jenny neon - swim ‘n drown lyrics

[verse 1: jenny neon]
yeah, i still try to swim thru life like mac miller
i try to keep swimming, but watch out for the k!llers
still drown, but i know i’m one in a million
so i don’t stress, as long as my heart is in it
hope i’ll inspire so many like my favorite artists
it’s a bad day, but not a bad life, ain’t it?
try to not beat myself up for my actions, even tho i was awful, i still am passionate
know why so many left, and i still can’t really let go
rap & sing my pain away, i’m [?]
most times i wonder how life’d be like if i ain’t did this?
whether it’s s+xting, manipulation, yo, you name it
i need help, i’m crying yet i know no one can help me
mainly when you can’t get therapy ’cause of your family
don’t tell me thеy everything ’cause thеy d+mn sure ain’t
it’s so hard opening up but what saves me is sound
hope i could hear the waves flowing when i swim ‘n drown

[hook: jenny neon]
swim ‘n drown, swim ‘n drown, swim ‘n drown, yea
give me time, give me time, give me time, yea

[verse 2: jenny neon]
i speak in introspection just for my retrospective
hard to talk to n+ggas ’cause they can’t comprehend this
my life’s a combination of intersections
for instance, sentences are filled with conjunctions, yea
and bad thoughts hit the asphalt
i think it’s my fault, have many verses in the vault
my fam made me think that i’m f+cking soft
but thankfully i survived my dad’s verbal assault
f+ck transphobic people, h0m+phobic people, racist ass people (definition of evil)
i acted manipulative towards humans
ain’t a day where i don’t blame myself, feelin’ stupid
suicidal too, lord left me contemplatin’
verses written like testaments, satan’s demons are winning
i tell what’s carved on my heart so you need to listen
i dealt with my groomer, pressure’s getting found
apologized, i still feel like i swim ‘n drown
[verse 3: jenny neon]
my thoughts, intertwined but i always say i’m fine
i’m always outta line, keep watches to see time
you think i’m up? it’s 150 ladders i ain’t climbed
i swim ‘n drown, the ocean looks so sublime
i need therapy and meds before i’ll end up late
running outta time since the world can’t wait
i got too fast & i lost my own brakes
if i’m dead, i’ll be great, still do whatever it takes
it’s hard moving on when you know you’ve done better
have i gave up on myself? the answer is never
i lied about serious sh+t, now i keep it honest
i’ll try to get better, it’s on everything i promise
still have trouble, struggle to open up too much, felt forced by myself, ain’t believe i could do such
if i wanted to change, i’d f+cking do it right now, but i dunno why i’m hesitant, i can’t even be out
all i really want is peace, it’s impossible to get that
knowing how much i hate myself, it’s hard to accept that
i just don’t like me anymore, i’m rich in knowledge but i guess i’m still poor
i swim ‘n drown between metaphors & corridors
wish i could hit reverse for a feel of rebirth, all i know is that i’m moving forward

- jenny neon lyrics

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