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jerry seinfeld - florida - live (1998 broadhurst theatre) lyrics

yeah, so florida, i don’t know… folks live down there, as you’d a**ume. you know, they live in those minimum security prisons, that’s where they put all the old people. what’s with all the security there, with the guard, g-y, with the arm coming down, everybody’s got a uniform, guns,… are the old people trying to escape, or… are people stealing old people, what is the security problem ?
i get very innerved by the way they drive down there, that’s why i don’t like being in those communities, because they drive slow, they sit low. that’s their model. the state flag of florida should be just a steering wheel with a hat and two knuckles on it
i mean, there is n0body in the car, sometimes ! you just see cars going by, “there was n0body in that car ! it was a completely empty car !”
always with the left turn signal on, from when they left the house that morning. that’s a legal turn in florida, it’s known as an “eventual left”
what is the age that old people reach where they decide when they back out of the driveway, they’re not looking any more ? do you know how they do that, they just go “well, i’m old… and i’m coming back ! i’ve survived, let’s see if you can”

- jerry seinfeld lyrics

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