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jesse welles - dumber lyrics

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[verse 1]
just the other day
i was pumpin gasoline
when i was ready to go
i ripped the whole d+mn hose
outta that pump machine

later when the cop pulled me over
halfway across the state
we asked why i was speeding
where i needed to be
i said “nowhere, and i’m running late”

[chorus 1]
i hope this feeling lasts all winter
i hope it lasts on into the summer
it can rain and it can storm, babe
it can lightning and it can thunder
i ain’t ever felt better
and i ain’t ever been dumber

[verse 2]
latеr, i was feeling hungry
so i went down to the nail salon
they gotta littlе chubby statue that’s always got fruit
i took an apple and i was gone
them ladies are always so upset
it must be hard workin’ on toes
i keep mine clean and the webs in between
help me float down the river, ya know

[chorus 2]
some days, life’s a big ole toilet
and i’m just a real good plumber
it may be hot as the d+ckens outside
but i’m cooler than a big cucumber
i ain’t ever felt better
and i ain’t ever been dumber

[harmonica solo]

[verse 3]
later, i was feeling lonely
but i didn’t really wanna talk
so i went down to the morgue and laid down on a board
’cause n0body wanted to walk

and in the morning i went to church
and they handed me a plate of cash
i took a buck or two, they kicked me outta the pew
h+ll, even jesus wants to kick my ass
[chorus 3]
if indeed its a dream i’m in
don’t wake me from my slumber
and if ya ever wanna feel a little better
feel like life is ‘a less of a bummer
it’s in your best interest
i suggest you get dumber

mmm+mm+mmm…

- jesse welles lyrics

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