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jessica meuse - halfhearted lyrics

[chorus]
i never really understood just why
how to throw an investment in the dark gray sky
like it never really happened at all when it started
guess i’m not halfhearted

[verse 1]
i wake up every day to the bright morning sun
i fall asleep every night think of things that i’ve done
i think of all the people and how different i could have become
i could’ve been a doctor, i could’ve been a nurse
i could’ve been better, but i could’ve been worse
ever since the beginning, i’ve just been self-made and high-strung
so i picked up a guitar and i picked up a pen
and instead of going out, i chose to stay in
i never slept around and i never really got into drugs
i had too much self-respect to have respect from my peers
so they called me anorexic and laughed at my tears
only a lesbian who understood an outcast ever gave me a hug

[chorus]
i never really understood just why
how to throw an investment in the dark gray sky
like it never really happened at all when it started
guess i’m not halfhearted

[verse 2]
i hated ’em for a while for the pain i had endured
and they asked me for friendship, as if that was the cure
i tried to feel better, so i went out to every venue and played
i got on tv, and i got on the news
kept writing my songs, and racking up views
i forgot to remember them and that was when i truly forgave
because it’s not about their actions, it’s how you react
do you silently fight or do you just step back?
because haters only hate a threat that makes them feel weak
and it took me years, through the xanax and booze
to understand the life you live is the life that you choose
walk the walk, and practice what you preach

[chorus]
i never really understood just why
how to throw an investment in the dark gray sky
like it never really happened at all when it started
guess i’m not halfhearted

[bridge]
’cause it’s about finding strength
in the mess that you make
writing your story and filling the page
the highs and the lows
and the scars that you show or you hide
you can self-medicate
or trash talk and hate
but you’re the only one that can stand in your way
no matter where you’re from, i’m always on your side

[chorus]
i never really understood just why
how to throw an investment in the dark gray sky
like it never really happened at all when it started
guess i’m not halfhearted

no, i never really understood just why
how to throw an investment in the dark gray sky
like it never really happened at all, when it started
guess i’m not halfhearted

- jessica meuse lyrics

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