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jessica taylor - god, i really wish i hated you lyrics

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[verse 1]
spilled some unfulfillment all over my shirt
please excuse me while i brush off all the dirt
got some envy on my sneakers, but i kinda like the tint
think it really brings out eyes that sag with hurt

see how i will twist and turn and bend
taking shape of what i think will get me friends
and i’ll hear them singing songs that don’t appeal to me at all
and learn the lyrics but they’re sick of it by then

[chorus]
oh god, i really wish i hated you
some days i do
but it always fades to warmth
and i crave the laughter too, my mind is always back and forth

really wish i hated you
then maybe pain would taste a bit less sweet
and flowers would stop springing from the cuts you dig in me

[post-chorus]
unknowingly
so deathly careless that you’re blind to how i bleed
and it’s for you
a constant slew of thick desire
it gets messy, makes it hard to even breathe

and what am i, but a kid that’s just a little too shy
and who am i, if not unsure?

[verse 2]
please be gentle with my heart today
i’ll be sick just at the thought of what you’ll say
i don’t know which one is worse, laughing about, laughing without
but i suppose that you’ll be laughing either way

[chorus]
oh god, i really wish i hated you
some days i do
but it always fades to warmth
and i crave the laughter too, my mind is always back and forth

really wish i hated you
then maybe pain would taste a bit less sweet
and flowers would stop springing from the cuts you dig in me

[bridge]
unknowingly
across the room, bet it’s invigorating
hearing you, it’s nauseating
bleed, don’t let me bleed
encapsulated in the loveliness
and wrapped in vines all closing in on me

[chorus]
oh god, i really wish i hated you
some days i do
but it always fades to warmth
and i crave the laughter too, my mind is always back and forth

really wish i hated you
then maybe pain would taste a bit less sweet
and flowers would stop springing from the cuts you dig in me

[post-chorus]
unknowingly
so deathly careless that you’re blind to how i bleed
and it’s for you
a constant slew of thick desire
it gets messy, makes it hard to even breathe

and what am i, but a kid that’s just a little too shy
and who am i, if not unsure

- jessica taylor lyrics

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