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jet thuman - p b v lyrics

[verse 1]
12 minutes past 6, the sun burns my eyes
i feel like sh-t; dunno why i’m outside
woke up in the park, p-ssed out on the slide
pretty far from the crib, so i gotta catch a ride
guess i’ll hit up joe cuz he’ll prolly know
what i did last night. so i get up off the flo’
shut my eyelids tight– my head’s about to blow;
it’s so godd-mn bright and my mind’s dimmed low:
another hangover. i’ve had lots of practice
got a headache the size of zach galifinakis
cellphone’s dead, dunno where my contacts is
can’t charge the mobile: no cash, no plastic
but it’s not so drastic, i head down the street
looking for my memories in the concrete
i could really go for a green swisha sweet
so the next alley i reach i gotta be discreet
cuz i meet the weedman, t-to, on the beat
and he’s got remedies for 10 or 15
i owe him 25 to get a grip on the scene
watching the smoke rise, wondering where i’ve been

[verse 2]
now that i’m stoned and effectively faded
i’m h-lla ready to go to the home i shoulda stayed in
but joe’s pad’s closer– i’ve already made it
and joe’s got a story that’s bound to be amazing
i got a couple bowls left so we’re blazing
he’s telling me how i showed up to the party:
already raging; a handle of bacardi
hitting on fat chicks (flattering their bodies)
downed a couple beers with the old-fashion shotty
it was cool. apparently, i was doing fine
after three brews it was all a good time
then somebody said tequila and i said i got the lime
six shots later i’m a colt 45
revolving and turning and spinning round the room
had to chill with an l of some loud, like boom
crossfaded on the couch, got stuck too soon
cuz the cops come through and everybody better dip
but if i ain’t slippin in some witches, save that sh-t
so i’m grippin on a kitten named princess brit
and brit’s got a bottle (looks like ’bout a fifth)
our princess helps this p-ssed kid ditch the pigs
dip to the cut, slips the drink, offers me a swig
the peanut b-tter vodka harder than big popov hit
i said “wtf is this?” and vomited

[verse 3]
now it’s clear as day; instant replay
i can recall ralphing up and wrecking it
oy vey, the juice i eliminated with the gin
mixed with the eighth (smoked to the face for the grin)
switched and replaced my daze and confused inhibitions
with ways to win, plus perks after the mission
so, subsequently, given the intermission
princess decided it was high time she went missing
told the chick to listen, she quit chirping and tripping
i whipped it out, asked if i could kindly put the tip in
she kinda laughed, sipped the pbv then said she’d l!ck it
but only if she and me don’t bone nor ever kick it
‘you’re cool and whatever,’ she says she respects it
but not to expect everybody always feeling the funk
‘i recommend a real hobby. some folks drink
but boy, you get drunk.’

- jet thuman lyrics

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