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jide-kun - diary of a s.i.m.p.y teen lyrics

[hook]
i remember days i was told i wasn’t black enough
i remember days that was all couldn’t tolerate
nowadays… only gets worse, ain’t it bad enough
nowadays as i grow in age, i make more mistakes
i remember days that i felt i wasn’t black enough
i remember days that that feeling made me insecure
people i would imitate, thinking it would ease a way
look into my life, i’m ashamed, i envisioned more
i remember days i was told i wasn’t black enough
i remember days that was all couldn’t tolerate
nowadays… only gets worse, ain’t it bad enough
nowadays as i grow in age, i make more mistakes
i remember days that i felt i wasn’t black enough
i remember days that that feeling made me insecure
people i would imitate, thinking it would ease a way
look into my life, i’m ashamed, i just immature

[verse]
twenty+four seven, twenty+four seven
how often i ask for repentance?
that’s twenty+four seven
pray to the lord for my soul, i know i’m forgiven
me and mama though, d+mn my n+gga that’s different
four hundred ten dollars that my mama sent
i know i was begging for it, i needed to pay my rent
told her when my check came in, i could pay her back
the devil is a liar, so am i… i’m just stating facts
lying to a loved one isn’t something that’s gone break my heart
it’s the ease of it…
d+mn, was i this way from the start
turns out blood isn’t thicker than self+preservation
6’5” still falling short of mama’s expectations
since 5, slipping through the cracks, shout out ronald reagan
since 9, too far to go back, i get more complacent
ignoring all her texts, now she calls
feeling more than anxious
and i call this love, got me i’m thinking
“this ain’t love… ain’t it”
what’s your definition of, “a sacrifice”
come and spill your heart fam
preach n+gga… you decide
for some n+ggas, it’s the one guy that’s gon’ do the time
but for me, it’s a single mother working overnights
burnt out cause she worked a double for that overtime
her kids wasn’t hearing it
one of twenty aunties working in a +uh+
single nursing home
you’d d+mn near think that rn stands for
registered nigerian
working two full time jobs, still can’t get a bag
our living situation was something i couldn’t grasp
dubois was onto something, talking dual consciousness
times that i feel that i’m african american’t
can i get the lunchables for class
mama said we can’t
what about the… (we can’t)
what about the… (we can’t)
what about the… (we can’t)
how about the… (we can’t)
obama saying, “yes we can”
i remember days i was told i was black enough
i remember days skipping church, i was acting up
i remember days of the struggle, we were down and bad
i was hungry, i would get to eat, mom would take a nap
nowadays… only gets worse, ain’t it bad enough
nowadays… karma moves fast, and it’s catching up
nowadays, people i offend just keep adding up
face the repercussion of my sins, i ain’t man enough
how to tell my momma that i prolly ain’t gon graduate
question of they year, think hard, need to contemplate
can i bear witness to the anguish on mother’s face
as she sees her first born turn into her first mistake
take it to the f+cking grave, problems i hold deep inside
this sh+t ain’t a f+cking game, rap to me is do or die
everyday i battle rap, i bar myself from suicide
the n+gga in the mirror unfamiliar… n+gga who am i?

- jide kun lyrics

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