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jimmy durante - so i ups to him lyrics

[verse 1]
i was walking down park avenue the other day
i was whistling [?]
a fellow who was coming in the opposite direction
he bumped right into me
i didn’t say nothing, i was gonna keep on going
don’t you think, he turned around and said, “why don’t you look where you’re going?”
i stood aghast as it wasn’t my fault
then he pushed me off the sidewalk onto the asphalt

[chorus]
so i ups to him and he ups to me
then i ups to him and i said
i said it was his fault
he said it was my fault
i said it was his fault
he said, “if you don’t like it i’ll punch right in the proboscis”

[verse 2]
i was so mad i was frothing at the kneecaps
so i ups to him and he ups to me
but i don’t do nothing, i just use my attitude, see?
then i said, “wait a minute, wait a minute, mack”
you might look like a lumberjack
but you can’t bulldoze me
and with that to show him who was boss
i puts a chip on my should and says
“knock it off, knock it off”
fivе minutes later the chip was still thеre
but the shoulder was gone
[verse 3]
so i ups to him again and he ups to me again
so i goes my way and he goes my way
well, exhausted, fatigued and tired too
i stopped into a nearby pharmacy for my daily vitamins
i was munching vitamin a, b, c and d
and was getting down to e, f, g and h
when i feels a tap on my shoulder and saying
“have one on me, partner”
thinking it was the same chump i whirls around quick as a flash, i ups to him
when i finds myself face+to+face with a westerner, a tough umbrae
so i stops upping to him and i says, “pardon me, stranger
a stone got in my shoe
you needn’t to start a cousin, i haven’t done anything to you”
recognizing the drawl in my voice, he asks me where i hails from
and when i says, “[?], pheonix, arizona”
he hits me with his leather boot, blackens my eye
knocks me down, picks me up
knocks me down, picks me up
but i kept smiling through it all
i had to smile, he has his fist in my mouth
so i left him to his own resources

[verse 4]
now the scene changes, three years has elapsed
i’ve grown a perfect toupee and i’ve prospered
i’m laying on the beach at waikiki, just a millionaire on the loose
when i feel someone tickling me on the nose
and a voice singing a [?]
it was, “i remember you
say, brother, i remember you
say, you’re the fellow with a big smeller
i remember”
after three years, who comes back to tournament me?
knock the shoulder off mc+nulty
so i ups to him and he ups to me
so i goes my way and he goes the way of all flesh

- jimmy durante lyrics

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