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joan ryan - tina's mother lyrics

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[telephone rings]

[judy, spoken]
i’ll get it!

[telephone rings, she answers]

[judy]
h+llo
yes, this is tina’s mother
h+llo, mrs. peters
how’s that?
tina brought you flowers from our garden
yes, she’s a special girl
we’re very proud of her
thank you for calling
goodbye

[hangs up, telephone rings]

[judy, spoken]
i’ll get it!

[telephone rings, she answers]

[judy]
h+llo
yes, this is tina’s mother
h+llo, mrs. miller
how’s that?
tina helped you do a load of laundry
well, she’s so fond of you
she likes your husband too
thank you for calling
goodbye!
[telephone rings]

[judy, sung]
tina’s mother here
(spoken)
hi, mrs. adams
(sung)
a party?
i’ll tell her she’s invited

[she hangs up, telephone rings]

tina’s mother here
sorry, mrs. adams
that’s sat+rday at four
i’m sure shе’ll be delighted
byе

[she hangs up]

i could have been an office girl
a wizard at dictation
working fifty weeks a year
two weeks paid vacation
i could have been a teacher teaching
one thing or another
but i’m proud to be what i am
tina’s mother!
[telephone rings]

h+llo
yes this is tina’s mother
h+llo, mrs. farmer
how’s that?
tina sang a song to your blind mother
she’s so compassionate
and so darn talented
and that’s the half of it

her room is always neat
i thank my lucky stars
she’s positively heaven+sent
my kid’s the perfect
eight year old
yes, she’s enthralling
thank you for calling
goodbye!

[doorbell chimes]

[judy, spoken]
i’ll get it!

[sylvia, spoken]
mrs. denmark
mrs. judy denmark?
[judy, spoken]
why yes, i’m judy
i’m judy denmark
judy denmark, that’s my name, judy
judy denmark

[sylvia, spoken]
tina’s mother?

[judy]
that’s me!

- joan ryan lyrics

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