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joe aufricht - side a (perversion) lyrics

+tape is meant for entertainment purposes only, to satisfy emotional and s+xual fantasies. any attempt to act as i do on this tape in public may be dangerous and neither i or the order of dionysus/sabazios can be held responsible. our sick prudish puritan society which tries to limit s+xual expression such as perversion and inter+generational love, such as between teenagers and adults, is just not ready for a tape like this. this is 1995 christian era, 30th year annos satanos by the church of satan time table. as i said, it may bе dangerous to act as i’m about to on this tape, particularly at parties whеre alcohol and drugs are consumed, especially if those people doing such were abused as kids, s+xually, if not physically, or perhaps both. but if anyone uses their hard f+cking life of s+xual and/or physical abuse as an excuse to be an assh0l+, and try to censor verbal expression and acting out of s+xual fantasies, they deserve just one f+ckin’ thing:
to lie down, and be abused a thousand f+ckin’ times more. for what the h+ll, they’re used to it anyway. f+ck them and their hard f+ckin’ life. and if anyone gets p+ssed at what i’m saying here or the way i act on this tape, i really don’t f+ckin’ care, although in a way i do because this is the way the world should be

because i’m a s+d+stic pervert
n0body messes with a s+d+stic pervert

[rapist noises]
+whistles+
those are my rapist noises
you see it sounds like i’m just whistling a tuneless whistle
but the: +whistles+
really means: +wet noises+
that’s the sound of the sperm coming out when a guy’s raping a chick

[h+rny with a chick]
now, you’re gonna be subjected to a song that i made up:
h+rny with a chick
h+rny with a chick
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny with a chick
i’m too sick
to a get a h+rny with a chick
h+rny with a chick
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny with a chick
h+rny with two chicks
h+rny with two chicks
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny with two chicks
i’m too sick
to a get a h+rny with two chicks
h+rny with two chicks
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny with two chicks

h+rny when the chick walks by
h+rny when the chick walks by
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny when the chick walks by

h+rny in your socks
h+rny in your socks
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny in your socks
i am a too shocked
to a be a h+rny in my socks
h+rny in my socks
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny in my socks

i’m gonna force you into bed with me
ha ha ha ha ha!
h+rny with two dyk+s
h+rny with two dyk+s
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny with two dyk+s
i’m too spite
to a get a h+rny with two dyk+s
h+rny with two dyk+s
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny with two dyk+s

h+rny with two punk chicks
h+rny with two punk chicks
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny with two punk chicks

h+rny with a pregnant chick on roller skates
h+rny with a pregnant chick on roller skates
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny with a pregnant chick on roller skates

how do you get h+rny in your socks? you wonder
well maybe i’ll just have to demonstrate to all of you someday
see this one time i had an itch in my foot inside my socks
and that’s how i came up with the idea of h+rny in your socks

i eat lots of h+rny with a chick food
it gives me energy to get h+rny with a chick on
always be careful what you drink and how you mix your drinks
because if you’re not careful you’ll throw up all of your h+rny with a chick food
and then you won’t have energy to get h+rny with a chick on
[ej+cul+te in your moon pants]
here’s the moon pants song:
moony moony moon pants
ej+cul+te in your moon pants
(that didn’t come out right)
moony moony moon pants
ej+cul+te in your moon pants
what are moon pants?
pants like the astronauts wore to the moon

[up against the underwear syndrome]
now it’s time for a little commercial:
do you suffer from the “up against the underwear” syndrome? you know where after an ej+cul+tion your c+ck or your flesh sticks to your underwear? well get acme anti+stick and you won’t suffer from up+against+the+underwear syndrome anymore
up against the underwear +cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck+
up against the underwear +cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck+
up against the underwear +cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck cl!ck+
that by the way was not a real commercial. that was a satire

[my hand up her mini+skirt without consent]
back in the late 60s when i was still a kid, there was this commercial on for benson and hedges cigarettes. and um on the back of a magazine there was a picture of a man with a woman in a long dress — although i wish she was in a mini+skirt — but she was in a long white dress, and they were sitting there looking at each other all happy and sh+t. and uh, it really made me very h+rny it made my d+ck get hard, and.. whenever i heard this one song that went with the commercial on the radio or the tv, it made me think of a guy running his hand up her miniskirt without his permission to do so
so i’m gonna play that song right now and sing along with it:

run my hand up her mini+skirt
without her permission to do so
na na na na na na
(na na na na na)
run my hand up her mini+skirt
na na na na na na
run my hand up her mini+skirt
without her permission to do so+o
na na na na na na
run my hand up her mini+skirt
na na na na na na na na
wow wow wow wow wow wow

(ooh i think he’s getting off on it)
ha ha ha ha

run my hand up her mini+skirt
na na na na na na
way out in the woods
run my hand up her mini+skirt
run my hand up her mini+skirt
na na na na na na
that’s a group called the brass ring with the disadvantages of you. you may remember i don’t think you had to take a kevin trudeau memory course to remember that was the theme for a set of benson and hedges commercials back in the late 60s

i wanna hear some pervert music!
i have two favorite words: h+rny and +rg+sm
chick chick chee+ick chee+ick chick chick chee+ick+ah
chick chick chee+ick chee+ick chick chick chee+ick+ah
chick chick chee+ick chee+ick chick chick chee+ick+ah
well what’s wrong with saying “chick chick chick chick”?

now here’s the cl+t tip song:
i wanna see your underwear i wanna see your tip
i wanna see you m+st+rbate upon your little cl+t
(sometimes when i try to sing it fast it comes out all mixed up:)
i wanna see your underwear i wanna see your cl+t
i wanna see you m+st+rbate upon your little tip
i wanna see your underwear i wanna see your cl+t
i wanna see you m+st+rbate upon your little tip
i wanna see your underwear
wanna see your cl+t
i wanna see you m+st+rbate
upon your little tip
i wanna see your underwear i wanna see your tip
(that’s the way it should go)
i wanna see you m+st+rbate upon your little cl+t

i was h+rny up against a chick when i went to see ozzy osbourne. nah i’m just kidding. but i was h+rny up against a chick when i went to see a punk rock band called the accüsed. i positioned myself in a big crowd up against her, got close to where she was, positioned my leg up against hers. she turned around and looked at me once but didn’t really pay attention or think it was much of anything, but then i went and told a couple guys that knew who she was i was h+rny up against her, and it must have gotten back to her because one day when i was walking around at the mall, she gave ma funny look

h+rny with two smother+me chicks
(what’s a smother+me chick?)
they smother my d+ck with p+ssy juices when i fouck em

i’m a squeaky voice pervert!

dang me, dang me
they ought to take a rope and hang me
high from the highest tree
woman would you wait for me
boo boo boo boo boo goo goo goo dee doo
goo goo goo goo goo goo
and i was strumming the air guitar by strumming my c+ck as i did that

people should fear me
because:
i got a big c+ck

ooh deng+eh me
deng+eh me
they ought to take a rope and heng+eh me
high from the highest tree
woman won’t you wait for me
boo boo boo boo boo goo goo goo
goo goo doo goo goo

oh don’t fall off the garage roof and get k!lled, honey!
i won’t have anyone to get a hard+on over!

hadinger halee oo noo oo noof
hadinger halee oo [?] ooh ooh
[?] [?] ooh noo noo [?]
[?] ooh ooh
and up [?] stuck and boowee bee nee na
[?] in [?]
up and up and boowee benina
you are the prettiest gooey denina

oh the moon shines tonight on pretty coosper
on pretty coosper
on pretty coosper
oh the moon shines tonight on pretty coosper
when the [tadpoles?] go marching on
da da da da da

[kindergarten +rg+sm dance song]
this next one is called the kingergarten +rg+sm dance:
in the kindergarten i had +rg+sms
back in the kinder i had +rg+sms
kinderee in the kinderee
back in the kinder i had +rg+sms
+whistles+
+whistles+

wanna hear an imitation of a chick p+ssing herself?
ooh my underwear
ooh my underwear
ooh my dree+ess
ooh my dree+ess

back when i was in elementary school, i really hated it when girls wore dresses because: it would expose their s+xy legs, and i would get so f+cking h+rny i couldn’t concentrate on my school work. so i made up this little chant back then that i would always do under my br+ under my beath:
they wear dresses
stupid dresses
why did they wear stupid dresses
sometimes i would disguise it in code form, instead of saying “dresses” i would say “ah+ho+dees”:
they wear ah+ho+dees
stupid ah+ho+dees
why did they wear stupoid ah+ho+dees

deedleedleedleedle
in the johnnys
do you know what i mean by the johnnys?
the underwear
maybe i should say about [stage door?] johnnys
deedleedleedle deedle
in the johhnys
deedleedleedle deedle
in your johnnys
deedleedleedle deedle
in your underwear
in your wear
in your wear
in your little underwear

i’d love to be able to go to a party where i can yell out:
i wanna hear some pervert music!

see what i mean by pervert music:
it doesn’t have to be overtly pervert music. but, it does have to for no particular reason, psych you up to wanna do s+xually perverted things to women and/or girls. like that song by the monkeys, i saw her face now i’m a believer. when i hear the beginning of it, it uh psychs me up to wanna do kinky s+xual things

i remember one day in the car when i was not even in kindergarten yet. or maybe i was in kindergarten i don’t remember. but, i was riding along with my mom i was sitting in the passenger seat, and she looked over at me and gave me a funny look. not a mean look, but um, i don’t know how to describe it but uh, it was because i was touching my d+ck, and holding it. she said, uh, she told me: mothers and fathers don’t hold their d+cks. well she didn’t use the term “d+ck” because: she was a prude back then. she used “tooker” or “tuchs”. she said mothers and fathers don’t hold their tuchs. well i’ve got a song in dedication to that:
mothers and fathers+
(yeah i know, mothers don’t have d+cks, but what the h+ll)
mothers and fathers don’t hol+d their d+ck+s
mothers and fathers don’t hol+d their d+ck+s
mothers and fathers don’t hol+d their d+ck+s
i could go on doing that all f+ckin’ night

[how dare you song]
i almost forgot, here’s the how dare you song:
how dare you, you made me
ej+cul+te in my pants
for i, was only
in junior high school
i was too young to fall in love
and have s+x

here’s an imitation of an angry transvestite:
how dare you, you made me
ej+cul+te in my skirt
for i, was only
in junior high school
i was too young to fall in love
and have s+x

oh my bees dees des
oh my bees dees des
+panting+
+panting+
oh my dress oh my dress
oh you took away my dress
(that’s a imitation of an angry transvestite also. a different variation.)

whenever i heard david bowie’s song fame and that one part
where he goes:
fame what you like is in the know
i always thought he was saying:
dre+hee, what you get is no tomorrow
whenever i heard that i always thought it sounded like a baby in a wet diaper

[unintelligible]
dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee dee
that’s supposed to be an imitation of a young girl who has to go to the bathroom really bad and she’s looking up the stairs toward the bathroom and freaking out thinking she’s not gonna make it in time:
gotta hurry uppa da
doh+sa uppa da
uppa uppa uppa da

some people who have heard me act this way, this one guy asked me if i sit around and spank my monkey as i do this. hey, when i’m spanking my monkey i’m laying down on the floor pressing it against the floor, hehehehe, concentrating. i don’t need to be making those noises as i do it. i make different noises. like when i have the +rg+sm

ooh it feels pleasant
ooh it feels pleasant

or: if i’m getting.. if i’m getting an +rg+sm thinking about pleasure though pain
i’m chanting “it doesn’t feel pleasant, but really it doesn’t” as i’m getting off i’m saying:
it doesn’t feel pleasant
doesn’t feel pleasant

you know what i call teenage girls? little squirty honeys. and when they say: but my name isn’t honey, or: oh don’t call me that, i don’t like it. i say well i don’t care your name is honey. squirty means squirt as in you’re a little squirter hey you little squirt. i suppose it could also mean if i wanted it to: they squirt out all their openings
+beatboxing+

why don’t they call it pant instead of pants? it’s only a single piece of material:
h+rny in the pant:
h+rny in the pant
h+rny in the pant
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny in the pant
(sometimes i call it the cants:)
h+rny in the can’t
h+rny in the can’t
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny in the can’t

i just can’t cause i’m h+rny in my pant
h+rny in my pant
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny in the pant

how about h+rny in the pee+ant
h+rny in the kee+ants

i don’t wanna look her
a doggy stook her

this one guy i knew, he asked me to sing the kindergarten +rg+sm dance song for him when we were talking on the phone and i went:
in the kindergarten i had +rg+sms
back in the kinder i had +rg+sms
kinderee in the kinderee
back in the kinder i had +rg+sms
+whistles+

he said well i gotta go now joe, i’ll see you later kinder. no he just he didn’t say joe he said: i gotta go now, see you later kinder

h+rny up against a chick
h+rny up against a chick

h+rny with a hundred chicks
in their mouths i stuck my d+ck
that’s the only way of getting off
when your h+rny with a hundred chicks

this one guy i knew tried to imitate me saying “chick chick chick chick”
he goes:
tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick
tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick tcshcick
he also made a joke about me singing the kindergarten +rg+sm dance. he said: f+ck me in my kinder. and he made a joke about me saying pee+ant. he said he called it piano and then he said piano pants. and then he said: stop p+ssing in my piano
ha ha ha ha +snort+
well hey
all perverts laugh through their nose
oh for christ’s sake!
all perverts laugh through their nose
+snort+

[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
fat perverted rebels launching away
they’re jumping off a catapult at twelve o’clock midnight
with parachutes attached to their c+cks

see when you sing h+rny with a chick, you’re supposed to stand next to a chick and sing h+rny with a chick, and shake your body and forth. and if the chick moves away because she’s a virgin and you+ thinks that you’re gonna rape her, then you just follow her around and when she moves to her next spot, you move over there, shake your body around, and sing h+rny near a chick. h+rny near a chick. and when she moves again you move +again+ and you keep following her

number two
number two
stuck in the mud and i lost my shoe
with a rum tum tiddle dum
[oh john diddle dum?]
[hey with mary hooked on you?]

bite em and chew em and eat em all up
bite em and chew em and eat em all up
bite em and chew em and eat em all up
bite em and chew em and eat em all up
bite em, bite em and chew em
bite em, bite em and chew em
bite em, bite em and chew em
and e+e+e+eat em all up
olè!

+beatboxing+

some of the things i do in this tape you may have no clue what it has to do, what connection it has with s+xual perversion. only i know that, because: only i know what it makes me feel like

[fat perverts forcing short skinny chicks into bed with them]
i’m going to force you into bed with me
ha ha ha ha ha

i said that once in the car, in my car when i was driving, and i had three male friends and one of their um female or girlfriends. female friends or maybe it was his close girlfriend i’m not sure. but they got p+ssed and started throwing sh+t out of my car. now that’s not the way they should have reacted. i expect social respect and acceptance even when i do that. in fact when i did that people should fear me for that

towards the end of the 7th grade, i was crawling under the table looking up girls’ dresses or simply bending down from my chair looking up girls’ dresses and they would have to pull their legs together saying joe! and finally the teacher caught on. and he took me out in the hall and lectured me, told me that if i didn’t stop, that he was gonna have to take me down to the office and get me some detentions
and i said to him: but mr. weilon, i was only looking! and he said: so what are you looking at, underwear?

someone once said over the phone to me, that knew about me, said to me: joe, why are you so obsessed with women’s underpants?

dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey
dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey
dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey dooey

this one time i was in a restaurant with a guy who was 19, another one who was about 23, i was 28 at the time, and two teenage girls, both about 16 years old. okay, um, the one guy i was with, he was kind of a big dude he weight 250 pounds the other one was real skinny. but this is what i said to all four of them, do+ out of the blue, i said to them: do you know you’re all very dear to my c+ck? and the one 16+year+old girl looked at me funny and she’s like: you are bizarre! one time i chanted how dare you you made me ej+cul+te in my pants thing, and she said to me: i’m telling you, joe, you are a very frightening person

h+rny on a chick:
h+rny on a chick
h+rny on a chick
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny on a chick

a+h+rny with six sick chick chick+ah
that’s h+rny with six sick chicks. actually it was originally supposed to be h+rny with six hundred and sixty+six chicks, but somebody heart it wrong and though i was saying h+rny with six sick chicks, so i figured it’s pretty funny to say h+rny with six sick chicks:
h+rny with six sick chicks+ah
h+rny with six sick chick chick+ah
h+rny h+rny a+h+rny h+rn
a+h+rny with six sick chick chick+ah

i saw six sick chicks once walking all together. on a sidewalk side by side. this one time when i was 16 i saw this chick coming home from school. i saw her in her flaming red pants and i nearly went crazy
i saw her in her flaming red pants
and i nearly went crazy

once upon a time there was this whale
he started out real small
and then he started eating
and he grew and he grew and he grew
bigger and bigger and bigger
til he no longer existed

yeah, did you ever ej+cul+te in your moon pants?
what are moon pants?
pants like the astronauts wore to the moon

h+rny in my underwear
h+rny in my underwear
h+rny h+rny h+rny h+rn
h+rny in my underwear

this is what i used to do out in my car window to chicks:
+catcall whistle+
or:
oh baby! oh, babe! i love those legs!
what i hate about the older women is they never turn around and look when you whistle +whistle+ or go “oh!” at them. oh! oh, baby! sometimes i’d also say after “oh, babe!” i’d say: i want you baby. one time i said to some chicks and they said: f+ck you. another time, another chick said: f+ck you, assh0l+

h+rny in the vicinity of a chick

[unintelligible] ([to the tune of yankee doodle])
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]

[unintelligible] ([to a different tune])
[unintelligible]
[unintelligible]

don’t crumple my man papers
man papers?

this one time in the 9th grade i was going around telling people that i was gonna rape this one girl, and, uh, one day in the hallway, she came up to me and said hey joe why don’t you just leave me alone and i said, what are you talking about? and she said: what do you think i’m talking about, joe? you pervert!

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
+whistles+ +smack+
everybody feeled uncomfortable
everybody feeled uncomfortable
+whistles+ +smack+
i’m singing about ej+cul+ting in the pant
+whistles+
that’s the part of the ej+cul+tion, the sperm squirting out in your pants
+smack+
is the sound of the+ of your c+ck sticking to your underwear suddenly
and then:
everybody feeled uncomfortable
everybody feeled uncomfortable

now how about a little dedication to a broad that’s in a bar, and has had so much to drink, she doesn’t make it to the bathroom in time:
liquor uncomfortable
tavern tavern liquor beer +cl!cks+
tavern tavern tavern p+ss +cl!cks+
tavern tavern liquor p+ss +cl!cks+
tavern tavern liquor p+ss +cl!cks+

you wanna hear a pervert story?
how about some pervert jokes?
how about some pervert poetry?
if you give me a pencil and paper
i’ll make some hand+drawn, home+made
pervert pictures:
pervert pictures
and pervert pictures
pervert pictures
and pervert pictures
pervert pictures
and pervert pictures
pervert pictures
and pervert pictures
pervert pictures
bum bum bum bum bum
brrrrum bum bum bum bum bum bum

i used to prank, when i was 17, i’m sure if you’ve heard my evil phone prankster audio tape, you heard it talked about in there how when i was 17 i’d call up a 13+year+old girl’s mom and said to her:
i’m gonna rape your daughter
i’m gonna rape your daughter
and i’d say:
this is the prrrrranksta!
the prrrrrrrrrrrrranksta!
imaging being a fat perverted prankster
a bearded fat perverted prankster
yeah, the bearded prankster, going:
the prrrrrrrrrrrrranksta!
this is the prrrrrranksta!

i’d love to be really big and ugly, like grossberger in the movie stir crazy
and come up to short skinny chicks and say:
i’m gonna force you into bed with me
ha ha ha ha ha
see, the, uh, smaller they are, the more they’ll be terrified, and, and them being terrified would get my d+ck hard, it would turn me on

my mom caught me with some pervert pictures once. well actually they weren’t p+rno pictures, it was just drawings i made, with guys saying stuff like i’m a fat s+d+stic pervert. i’m going on a surfin’ safari. there was a short skinny chick i forced her into bed with me. and then i drew a picture of a guy, 7’6″ weighing 600 pounds, and he was saying how he forced short skinny chicks into bed with him. and then i put a big arrow to both of them and it said: n0body messes with these guys. and then she asked me what’s this and she got all concerned and worried about me. and uh, i explained to her, um, when i+ mom when i grow up i wanna be a fat s+d+stic pervert. and she’s like well why do you wanna be a fat s+d+stic pervert, and i started laughing, and she’s like don’t laugh or i’ll give you a smack, and i explained how i wanted to, uh, urinate on prostitutes and she asked why, and i said oh, to make myself h+rny, and she’s like oh you’re+ you treat people like sticks. they’re just there for your pleasure, you’re gonna be h+rn+ you’re gonna do that, just so you can be h+rny, you’re gonna be h+rny and have your fun. +exhales+ and uh, and eventually she told me you better not draw any more of those pervert pictures. but then a while after that i said: i feel like drawing some pervert+ some more pervert pictures, and she’s like: what are pervert pictures?

oh i almost forgot: well i was talking about these, um, these chicks who were sisters and some guy was talking about how they sunbathed in their back yard, and some other guy said: hmm weird chicks. i said to my mom: but they’re weird chicks and they deserve to be raped. and she’s like, uh, well, sunbathing in the backyard doesn’t mean they’re weird chicks and it doesn’t matter if they are weird chicks and i said but they’re burnouts and she said it doesn’t matter if they’re burnouts

here’s an imitation of me picking somebody up off the ground against her wishes:
ooagh!
someone in
in a delaniedee
someone in
actually that’s a tribute to me picking somebody up off the ground:
someone in
in the deleedleanee
someone in
in a dideedlenee
someone in
i’m singing someone in the delanies. there was this girl whose last name was delanie
and i grew up with her brother in first grade to about sixth grade, and i always had this thing where i just wanted to pick his youngest sister off the ground against her wishes just to make her miserable so she’d throw a temper tantrum
and i’m singing:
someone in the delanies, the deleedleanies
someone in the deleedlenanies
someone in
in the dileedleanies

but i’m trying to be the class clown!
see back in the 6th grade i was trying to be the class clown, so i could make all the chickies laugh real hard and mess their pants so i could get an +rg+sm from it and go m+st+rbate. and as i made them start laughing as they were laughing i’d be chanting:
going in the pant
going in the pant
going going going going
going in the can’t
h+rny in the can’t
h+rny in the can’t
going going going going
going in the can’t
i imagine myself being back there in the 6th grade with a big mean ugly perverted monster, one who’s big ugly and perverted but he gets his s+x when he wants it
ha ha ha ha ha!
your bodies are no longer sacred, ladies, heh heh

too bad this isn’t a video tape this is only an audio tape, because i could show you stuff like, um imitations: an imitation of a pervert eating mints: he’s trying to get ’em down his throat, but his throat is infected with, uh, with the aids virus. or how about an imitation of a pervert, running through the+ a fat s+d+stic pervert, running throught the forest in a zig+zag motion. how do i know he’s a pervert somebody asked. well, because he’s, uh, he’s running through the forest in a zig+zag motion, chasing a short skinny chick, with the sole purpose of raping her

bunny rabbits
bunny rabbits
(raping the bunny rabbits)
you know what bunny rabbits i’m talking about?
the playboy bunny rabbits
bunny rabbits
bunny rabbits
+wet noises+
that’s the sperm coming out when a guy’s raping a cheiack
+wet noises+

chick chick chee+ick chee+ick chick+a chick+a chee+ick chick+ah
chick chick chee+ick chee+ick chick+a chick+a chee+ick chick+ah
what’s wrong with saying “chick chick chick chick”?

well, how about joining the pervert’s christmas club? you know, they should invent a thing called the pervert’s christmas club. all banks have regular christmas clubs or used to
where you save up a certain amount of money in a christmas club account so you can buy gifts for people at the end of the year. well they should form a pervert’s christmas club where you save up. and all the money that say save is used to buy pervert stuff. stuff from the p+rno store. you know, like d+ld+s and vibrators and p+rnographic literature

anyway, this is the end of the “perversion” side
the next side is the “mockery” side
where i make fun of people who deserve to be made fun of
so enjoy
and stay h+rny!

- joe aufricht lyrics

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