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joe glazer - don't wake the president up lyrics

[spoken intro]
“coming up to modern times, ronald reagan became president in 1980. now, he really enjoyed eight years in the white house, couldn’t be beaten. other presidents, they got gray hair; they got lines on their faces; they got rings under their eyes; they went to sleep late at night; they slept restlessly; they got up early in the morning, always worrying about the burdens of the presidency. reagan was relaxed—made uplifting speeches, told good stories, the people loved him. he was easily elected and re+elected. now, when he was tired, he just took a nap. he said, ‘they tell me hard work never k!lled anybody, but i figure, why should i take the chance?'” (audience laughter)

[verse 1]
one night, the white house telephone rang very, very late
the caller said, “i’m the secretary of state
i must talk to the president for he should know
the cubans have invaded guantanamo”
the white house operator said, “i cannot put you through
for, mr. secretary, it’s a quarter past two
you’ll have to leave the message with someone else
i got those orders from the president himself”

[chorus]
because we can’t disturb the president for every little thing
he’s sleeping upstairs in the family wing
can’t wake him every time we hear the telephone ring
we won’t wake the president up

[verse 2]
well, the secret service called just a little after dark
they said, “a ufo has landed in lafayette park
some little green creatures came a+running out the door
they were wearing krypton t+shirts and that’s all they wore
some of them were talking to a parking meter
we can hear them screaming, ‘take us to your leader'”
but the white house operator said, “you called too late
please call back in the morning at half past eight”
[chorus]
because we can’t disturb the president for every little thing
he’s sleeping upstairs in the family wing
can’t wake him every time we hear the telephone ring
we won’t wake the president up

[verse 3]
one day, a call came from the secretary of defense
he said, “we have intelligence that doesn’t make much sense
i have to tell the president that we’ve just found
an unknown submarine in long island sound
an unmarked aircraft carrier is anchored off cape may
and mystery ships have entered chesapeake bay
i have to tell the president we may be in a scr+p”
but the operator said, “right now, he’s taking his nap”

[chorus]
and we won’t disturb the president for every little thing
he’s sleeping upstairs in the family wing
can’t wake him every time we hear the telephone ring
we won’t wake the president up

[verse 4]
now, out on the horizon, you can see a lot of ships
and on the radar screen, there are a lot of little blips
the red telephone is ringing long and loud
and over jersey city, there’s a mushroom cloud
a saboteur has sawed the wings off air force one
and the chiefs of staff are meeting in the pentagon
the president will tell them what action they should take
and they know they’ll get the word as soon as he’s awake
[chorus]
but we can’t disturb the president for every little thing
he’s sleeping upstairs in the family wing
can’t wake him every time we hear the telephone ring
we won’t wake the president
we shouldn’t wake the president
we musn’t wake the president
can’t wake the president
shhh
don’t wake the president up

[spoken outro]
“well …”

- joe glazer lyrics

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