joe kinosian, kellen blair - protocol says lyrics
[marcus, spoken]
detective marcus. it’ll happen lou, and sooner than you think! i overheard the chief saying he’s getting ready to promote one of the newbies, whichever one of us proves to know the most about crime scene protocol!
+++
oh you don’t think i know the most about protocol do you? fine, i’ll give you a demonstration. but uh, first let me accidentally pocket+dial the chief so he can overhear this
[sung]
protocol says: be strict
keep your cool or you’ll be l!cked
never look weak
never look hurt
never look a thing except alert
protocol says: be bold
keep your suspects will controlled
if you’re in a pinch
never give an inch
it can be a sinch
if you follow each rule you’re told
every puzzle piece holds a clue
when you’re addin’ em up just do
as protocol says
the’ll land in place
every fingerprint fits a hand
if you’re willing to understand
what protocol says
you’ll crack the case
[spoken]
oh my god chief, have you been listening this whole timе? how embarrassing!
+++
what? well is the chiеf available? can you put him on? great, thanks!
[sung]
protocol says: be stern
make the crime your prime concern
never look back
never think twice
never let a suspect give advice
protocol says: be sk!lled
don’t let mass commotion build
when it’s getting tough
and you’ve had enough
if you know your stuff
you can manage to not get k!lled
every alibi must be cracked
when you’re tracking your man just act
as protocol says:
they’ll land in jail
every riddle requires a key
if you want it unlocked just see
what protocol says
and you’ll prevail
[spoken]
oh my god chief, have you been listening this whole time? how embarrassing!
+++
well do you know how long his meeting is supposed to last? ugh, fine, give me his voicemail. now uh, protocol says: “know the people you’re dealing with”. i think if we just peek through this window here+
+++
oh my gosh that’s barrette lewis the famous prima ballerina! what’s a beautiful, innocent soul like her doing here?
+++
that’s right i guess we will find out
+++
how do you lou? i don’t care if she is the kind of woman who could really help a guy learn to love again, i think we both know what protocol says about mixing your personal and professional lives! that’s right, never!
…again
[sung]
protocol says: be smart
trust your gut and not your heart
never look frail
never look flushed
never let your heart get caught and crushed
protocol says: say “no”!
if by change romance should grow
even when they seem
like a living dream
silkier than cream
with a pair of perfect eyes the gleam and glow
but that was long ago
so very long ago
six months last week to be exact
and now lou i’m ready
resolved, prepped, and steady
my steadfast devotion
will earn that promotion
no threats will derail me
for rules never fail me
and staunch dedication
to strict regulation
has shown
every puzzle piece holds a clue
when you’re addin’ em up just do
as protocol says
you’ll soon succeed
[spoken]
take it, lou!
+++
that’s right!
+++
[sung]
protocol works
protocol pays
people might leave but protocol stays
it’s the only partnership i+
[spoken]
oh my god chief, have i been leaving you a voicemail this whole time? how embarrassing! have a great day!
[sung]
it’s the only partnership i need
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