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joel sieradzan - overthoughtful lyrics

[verse]
i started writing this at around 9pm
it’s currently 9:35, i’m leaning back in my chair
slumped with this one line written
barely can even think of anything and
i’m tryna keep my eyes wide, but my mind’s fried
and i’m tired, visions blurry like a blind guy
i’m making progress now i think
somehow i’m just writing when i speak
but they turning out to be nice lines
so i’ma stick with this and hope that when i talk
it automatically notes it when i’m brainstorming a thought
the rain’s forming some more outside, more than there
was before now i’m mortified at the thought of dying
horribly in this storm
wait, look, nah i’m rambling on, i’m supposed to be
only focusing on penning this song but i ovеrthink everything
and think too much at once, my mind’s ovеrflowing
with sh+t that don’t matter at all
but look, i’m trying to refrain from letting my brain numb
i’m tryna take some pain and turn it to anger
man, that’s the only way, cause the less i have to say
when i mope around depressed, i’m praying for
some better days cause
everyday is just the same sh+t, wake my head
make my bed, take my meds, and complain that
i’m just not where i wanna be at the moment
i tell myself it’s only a matter of time ‘fore i blow up
but i swear to god it’s true, i’m destined to succeed
and every f+cking night i pray to god i do
and i thank the lord for every single f+cking plate of food
that i’ve had, but soon i’ma be eating off a plaque and
ima be the best; better than the rest, never rest
never test me, it ain’t something you wanna address
but it’s just hard to deal with these emotions
no matter where i’m at, it’s gon be hard to feel devotion
for anybody, cause the people i trusted most were
the first people to turn they backs and vanish like a ghost
but i think it was an advantage in disguise
it’s better for them to pack their bags than to stick around
and lie, i think about the past but it’s quicker to leave behind
than to reminisce about moments no longer on your mind cause
it only makes you wanna be where you once were
it’s like you found the golden key and unlocked the door
to all the dreams and memories that you had before
but see, that’s the sh+t that made who you are
focus on the present, past is just imagination
made of trials and tribulations and memories and failure
[outro]
i’m sorry if what i said sounded contradictory
i’m just thinking out loud and jotting down
what makes sense to me, but i think i’m accurate
with the writing, and i’m still kinda tired and it’s 9:59
and i’m not gonna lie i’ve never felt lonely more
wait hold up, i gotta chill, after all these are only thoughts

- joel sieradzan lyrics

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