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joell ortiz x !llmind - human (outro) lyrics

[produced by !llmind]

[verse]
f-ck it
had to talk my sh-t to y’all, don’t hate it or love it
just respect it and be honored
that i’m standin’ in your presence, it’s the yaowa
we ain’t promised tomorrow
i grew up in a single household, my mama was father
my uncle was junkie
my cousin was a d-ckhead tryin’ to punk me
my other cousin got bodied cause of a stupid color
my projects is a live set, we shoot at each other
some n-ggas is ’bout it, some n-ggas is scared
but even the ’bout it n-ggas fear, the worry is shared
vision blurry, impaired
pickin’ up pace in the hood and i hurry to where
same corner store, same faces in front of it
same dice game, same 40 and same blunt is lit
same couple of schemes to get a hundred quick
some n-ggas is grimy, scheme on who they runnin’ with
but see i was smart, i bought another clip
never wait to get shot at to shoot, that’s some dummy sh-t
it was just me, no brothers or sis
no one to tell i’m plummeted to a f-ckin’ abyss
them drug dealers at my door again
my mom’s meetin’ ’em in the hall again
i swear when i grow up i’m k!llin’ all of them
man that shouldn’t be your thoughts at 10
but that’s the life that i was brought up in
i never had a choice
walkin’ through the livin’ room, hearin’ my granny voice
like “don’t you be just like the rest of them
your boy p-nut, yeah they arrested him”
but little joell, he ain’t let it get the best of him
f-ck it
had to talk my sh-t to y’all, don’t hate it or love it
i’m just human
i’m only human
i’m talkin’ pre-music
pre-money, pre-fame, pre-groupies, just highwaters
comin’ out the snow, peelin’ your socks off yah
freezin’ just to find out there’s no hot water
man i had packed roaches
that couch is 20 years old but it’s the best sofa
moms ain’t cook yesterday so ain’t no leftovers
still every f-ckin’ halloween i would egg yolk yah
we lit the staircase up with cap gun revolvers
playin’ cops and robbers
funny, i’m lookin’ back now, we all wanted to be robbers
we didn’t respect the coppers
we used to go up to the roof and throw rocks at the choppers
fast forward, i’m at the table, the rock gettin’ chopped up
that reebok sneaker box is startin’ to get guapped up
your jewelry and clothes, that’s startin’ to pop up
i’m a teenager now, much more than a monster
i stole a hyundai elantra and crashed it into a honda
i’m in the backway with a bird and i’m standin’ behind her
i remember that first feeling, remember that first feeling
no condom, i was illin’
dead -ss
young, dumb with a gun and just feining to turn you to a dead -ss
i remember that night i borrowed my n-gga fred’s mask
and they found son in the street, n0body know what happened but
yeah i still jump out of my sleep
let me leave that right there before i incriminate myself
behind this beat
my life ain’t sweet
it’s sort of like finders keepers
and you’ll be surprised by some of the sh-t these finders keep
keep, i can no longer do
i can’t keep this all to myself, i must give some to you
before music, the only check i got was summer youth
yeah i’m a rapper but i’m still… i’m still one of you
human

- joell ortiz x llmind lyrics

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