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john anderton - hard on porn lyrics

i was made from eleven and a half stars
up in heaven i’ve been tearing off your ma’s bras
getting paid by getting laid and seven mars bars
seven fast cars and seven bar scars for looking hard
what is your favourite type of lesbian p-rn?
do you like it when they’re fatter and their lashes are long?
do you like it when they’re dyk-y looking masculine ones?
or do you like it when the l-sses have their gashes adorned?
i ask
what is your favourite type of lesbian p-rn?
do you like it when they’re fatter and their lashes are long?
do you like it when they’re dyk-y looking masculine ones?
or do you like it when the l-sses have their gashes adorned?

once upon a time i bought a p-rn and it all made sense
it was 50 pence
was on the fence ‘til i read it
then i’m getting redder than a ferret dipped in claret
then my little helmet popped his head up then his cherry
it’s my method so you better pet it
it will spew up on your belly
get it on your telly
fill a welly full of jelly and then f-ck it
f-ck it why not?
just try to get a fly to touch it while it’s hot
then fly it up inside of the v-g-n-s you can find a lot
if you’re looking in the right spot
if you’re not you can find a bot
same thing made of bare skin
but the stench offends me i swear to god
making tents in my pants looking fairly odd
getting tense my defence is i’ve rarely got
any p-rnos to p-wn off with scary plots
getting caught but i barely w-nked off
for a tenth of a second coming second to none
i c-m first i disperse in the bread of a bun
in the purse of a nurse then i spread it around
i’m the worst then i burst on the head of a nun
look

once upon a time i saw a p-rn and i understood
my little prawn looking sore with a riding hood
it was rather rude if i remember good
became a member and my member stood
and now it’s never going down
so whenever i’m around
i will be waving it around all of the ladies in the town
so now i’m shaving it around the bottom
making it look like a column
say that you get rabies or that maybe you get crabs i got ‘em
getting smarter put tomatoes in gazpacho soup
i’m a martyr light my farts you’ll never catch is up
but i divven’t give a god d-mn mother f-ck
im just trying to get my b-lls out but they’re stuck

i’m a w-nker f-nny spanker
pulled the tampax out of your mam
and then i banged her
pulled it out spun it round
then i thanked her
anch0r-d my tanker but faster than i ran there
rejecting the rancour
electric like blanka
i’m letting the anger be left in the back
got more swagger than a charver when he’s blagging a crowd
i bring the fear when you see me swing my dagger around
and then i circle around
i’m gonna murder your brown
i stick my d-ck in it while folding you and holding you down
i f-ck the whole of your town
i’m going homeward i’m bound
to put a whole in one i told you mom’s not gonna be found
because i hid her in the middle of a riddle she sounds
just like the whistle of a middle on the way to the ground
i’m gonna nibble on her nipples then i’m dribbling down
her bl–dy cl-t and her mound
she sucked my d-ck for a pound
you see the way she looks at me for what i did to the c-nt
i only knocked out all her t–th because i’m sick of her munch
i’m the pr-ck of the bunch
and i’m addicted to punching awld skinny biddies in ‘cause i’m the divviest one
i’m the biblical son
and i’mma stick to the fun
of taking seven hundred dozen f-cking hits from the bong
and if you want tag along or go respond to my song
‘cause i’m getting bl–dy sick of f-cking c-nts in the bum

- john anderton lyrics

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