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john barry - the pun song lyrics

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[verse 1]
a riddle or a pun
can provide a feast of fun
the worse they are, the best they are
it’s hard to find a rotten one
but once you find that jewel
the feeling’s beautifewel
these are the kind that we all find
quite irresistibewel

“i’ve got one! who walks like this?”
“i haven’t the faintest idea. you tell me. who walks like that?”
“aha! i do!”
“ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

[verse 2]
that’s awful, that’s absurd
it’s as bad as anything i’ve ever hеard
it’s madness, it’s insane
but not half as daft as this one
that i managеd to obtain

“where was the magna carta signed?”
“i don’t know. where was the magna carta signed?”
“it was signed at the bottom!”
“ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”
[verse 3]
what drivel! what a blow
you have bruised my brain by stooping quite so low
what stupid revelry
but it’s not as bad as this one
that a cuckoo told to me

“how do you find out the weight of a whale?”
“i don’t know. how do you find out the weight of a whale?”
“take him to the nearest whale+way station!”
“ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

[verse 4]
pure piffle, what a shock
your distorted mind is full of poppyc+ck
it’s nonsense, ev’ry word
yet it can’t compare to this one
that i must have overheard

“which king of england wore the largest shoes?”
“oh, i’d love to know. which king of england did wear the largest shoes?”
“the one with the largest feet!”
“ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

[verse 5]
oh, rubbish, you are sick
you remind us of a looney lunatic
you’re merely a buffoon
if you carry on like this
you’ll be as mad as us quite soon
“what did the father ghost say to his son?”
“i don’t know. what did the father ghost say to his son?”
“spook only when you are spooken to!”
“ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

[outro]
if it’s sunny or it’s rainy
if you’re dumb or if you’re brainy
you can sing the zany
pun song

- john barry lyrics

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