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john calvry - dear world i am not okay lyrics

lately, i’ve been hearing voices in my head
close my eyes, vivid images i can’t forget
i got to pop a xanax just to go to bed
and some days when i wake i wish i were dead
drowning in depression drowning in the pain
sink in negativity, i sink into the darkness and despair
i’m falling deep into my ocean, feeling numb and unaware
trying to reach the surface just to grasp a bit of air
the bitterness of pills lingers on my tongue
i either blackout or stay up long enough to see the sun
ptsd, ocd, anxiety
are demons that i’m fighting, i ain’t got the remedy nah
i lost control i don’t know what i’m doing
i fell in a hole and i know that i’m losing
they told me to pray but they’re overdoing
i know that there’s more my mind is in ruin
i’m yelling for help and they think that i’m crazy
i’m reaching for help but my vision was hazy
i reached for the pills cuz they wanted to save me
the antidepressants are keeping me lazy
anxiety is hitting heart is pounding
i start sweating hands are shaking
head is spinning i’m not breathing
bodies freezing chest is k!lling
hands keep shaking stomachs sinking
visions fading i’m not breathing
i’m not breathing i can’t breathe in
i can’t (gasp)
this life that i’m living i ain’t living well
i feel like i died and woke up in h+ll
dear world i am not ok
dear world i am not ok
this life that i’m living i ain’t living well
i feel like i died and woke up in h+ll
dear world i am not ok
dear world i am not ok

ever hate your life that you don’t want it no more?
no? well, i guess i’m alone
in this, i’m not part of the norm
but i’m used to it, never really found my place
and i always been a loner, so give me my sp+ce
and i’m sorry for the honesty, don’t need your grace
cuz i heard em call me weak and that i ain’t got faith
but this is more than just a prayer, cuz my mind ain’t safe
and they’re telling me that i need to talk to god more
tell me can you see i ain’t really got the words so
bout to spill the tea god i’ve feeling kinda ignored
i’ve given all of me and you kick me to the curb so
i don’t know what else to do to get your attention
yea you told me last year you had better intentions
but this h+ll that i’m going through, you never did mention
all i see you do is pick up the tension
had to turn my phone off, i got messages i haven’t read
from months ago, it’s sitting in a drawer that’s next to my bed
i had to block out the world before i did something i regret
and pour my heart into this song to let you know you not alone
i had to come to terms that i’m not ok
i’m not ok
i had to come to terms that i’m not ok
i’m not ok
i had to come to terms that i’m not ok
yea, i’m not ok
i had to come to terms that i’m not ok
i had to come to terms that i’m not ok

this life that i’m living i ain’t living well
i feel like i died and woke up in h+ll
dear world i am not ok
dear world i am not ok
this life that i’m living i ain’t living well
i feel like i died and woke up in h+ll
dear world i am not ok
dear world i am not ok

- john calvry lyrics

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