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john doe the first - _____ (a winter prologue) lyrics

{verse 1}
toxicity’s gone, so is my scapegoat
so now, when things go wrong i can blame my own mental
i thought+
k!lling him off holding the pistol would solve everything but i left all my prints though
and i’m+
forgetting alot especially my meds though it’s hard breathing at all when feeling my chest close
the thought+
of feeling her arms a little bit different who thought fixing the problems would f+cking bring in more
disa+
ssociation has tripped me the f+ck out and while, they pick me apart i’m beginning to lash out
and my+
baby i loves she suffers the d+mn most its not nicky’s ménage this is more than a friend woah
she callеd+
hitting me up at 11:51 she’s off heading to my housе so things can be fixed up
she wants+ to speak about the things that we discussed
she told me she loves me and proceeded to hang up
and i+

[verse 2}
i distinctly remember, that week in december
the evening we said all of the things we keep pent up
the, things we be scared of we be weeping together
see g, we been together for what feels like forever
so she leaves for work fed up wears deceiving fake smiles
for some greedy white elders while i’m thinking about her
turn the tv up louder fall asleep while in doubting
completely and utter+hopelessly in love with her
my phone pings and i get up said she needs me too
she said she’s leaving the restaurant and wants to see me soon
so, we can fix this up i’ve been thinking through
i know she’s on her way here she’s been thinking too
i know+
{chorus}
i don’t know how long i’ve been here
i don’t know how long i’ll stay
i don’t know how long you’ll love me
all i know is faith…
(till it all went blank)

i don’t know how long i’ve been here
i don’t know how long i’ll stay
i don’t know how long you’ll love me
all i know is faith…
(till it all went blank)

{verse 3}
why am i getting stoned between this stone and a hard place?
playing monkey in the middle with a stone in a large vase
her ambition and rose petals have been throwing it all day
and i’m jumping like a hypocrite while touring the small stage
so why the f+ck am i upset?
why the f+ck am i a mess?
you gon’ do the same to her so why the f+ck you fighting this?
objectify since i was 10 exposed to life sh+t i shouldn’t
i know i’m wrong dawg i admit this my third time psychiatrist
she prolly told herself the same
she driving down the i+15
it’s hard to find the time to change but pride or die she 5 away
she ride or die she finds a way i tightly tie up my old laces
silent my phone find my keys yeah find my wallet while i pace
a slight vibrato on the screen
slice the throttle light went green
slide up my phone finds my keys while violent bottles driving tanks
my eye b+lls follow towards the ping lighting struck a block from me
find the text type on my way my mind my soul it all went blank
{chorus}
i don’t know how long i’ve been here
i don’t know how long i’ll stay
i don’t know how long you’ll love me
all i know is fate…
(till it all went blank)

- john doe the first lyrics

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