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john emmanuel - suicide lyrics

i can’t wait till the day i put my town on the map
so many did fraud, they phone probably tap
imagine living in a place that’s five minutes away
from the rich kids in high school they probably never worked a day
home invasions, lord forgive us
rich kids was riding whips, we was stuck in the bus
one day my dawg finally got a hooptie
and we ain’t give a f-ck, we still felt groovy
before cl-ss we was in a hotbox
the days selling trees and copping the ziplocks
the days we skipped school just to f-ck hoes
my dawg got a tool and then his head blows
my other best dawg brain shut down
the first time we noticed we treated him like a clown
weeks went on and it got worst
i even thought he got possessed, i thought he got cursed
his mom spoke to me, you can tell she cried
believe me when i say this, we all f-ckin tried
if you talk to him, he might not reply
he became a vegetable and no one knows why
it hurts so much you don’t understand
that was my best friend
this town had some ups but way too many downs
but we do have talent, we do have sounds
sometimes i ain’t scared of death, that’s how i be
i can’t wait till the day i go out like g
you know how many times i thought about suicide
feeling like b.i.g. just ready to die
i’m only rapping cuz it’s better than being bummy
most the sh-t i say just ain’t funny
i gotta be a voice for the people just like me
wishing you could go back to being lonely
no ex girlfriends tryna break your heart
no fake friends that’ll tear your spirits apart
keep them negative thoughts out your mind
cuz the demons will take over and you will go blind
to the fact you got potential in this cold as world
thankful for these rappers, one time for earl
shoutout to cole, shoutout to kendrick
these xannies might make me go out like hendrix
cuz i do not give a f-ck about the consequences
it’s like reading don’t enter signs but still hop fences
mind state of skater, one time for my haters
i was dirty ghetto kid posted in decatur
thinking bout the time i was scrubbing up plates
now i’m wondering if i should take this actress on a date
and i wanna buy jewels for all my aunties
they’re the few women i trust that ever said they love me

- john emmanuel lyrics

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