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johnée - factotum lyrics

[verse 1]
i’m not a morning person
but you don’t know me until you hang with my 2am version
i am not much of a introvert then
and i’m not really social
but if i was invited to things i wouldn’t just sit there and say, ”let’s get this over with”
not until my thoughts were sobering
i pretend i’m independent and i’m still friends with my family
so we have something in common but the worst is always yet to come
i go to movies unattended and i come home feeling empty
i never planned to be twenty+alone
[pre+chorus]
the world is cold like war
i’m never gonna outgrow these four walls
i wish things could go back to what they were
i’m not happy anymore

[verse 2]
i’m working through my pain, i feel better in the open
when my heart is vulnerable and anyone can walk in
i had to write a song like that just to get it off my chest
we’re living in the era of internet and this is not so awkward
i can’t stand getting old, it’s the end of everything i know
all my friends are having babies and i’m a baby of my own
i still got salt in my cuts from things that happened a long time ago
but i don’t think anyone is out to get me
they’re getting married, i’m letting go
[pre+chorus 2]
loving someone who’s taken is always a tragedy in the making
hearts will break and they will hold it all against me
i have a soft spot for the harm’s way as my mother would say
if it ain’t hard to get, i can’t bring myself to understand it

[chorus]
i wanna do the most, i care too much
i can be a lot but i’m not enough
growing up hurts like a thousand cuts
but i’d do it over again
i’m so out of touch, not even close
i thought i knew love but i was wrong
when i leave this world, i wanna be heartbroken
i wanna feel it all, i think too much
if for once i could just live and learn
i wouldn’t want it off the roller coaster
i’m so out of touch, not even close
i thought i knew love but it didn’t crushed me
when i leave this world, i wanna be heartbroken

[bridge]
i was dancing with no music and i came to the conclusion
i’m always the last human to leave when the party ends
big+time pretender, hanging with my delusions
and failed attempts to make new friends
i have a tradition of hospital visiting and memorizing children’s names
he’s been at parties, i’ve been on iv’s
it was naive to think we were the same
he said we should get matching tattoos
but my body takes more time to heal than i do
you don’t wanna be attached to someone who still have open wounds
i’m shy and uptight, you’re down for the ride
but i won’t let you drive my getaway car
you’re reckless and wild and i’m an overprotected child who never went too far
i can’t take you with me down hard feelings boulevard
[chorus]
i wanna do the most, i care too much
i can be a lot but i’m not enough
growing up hurts, such a motherf+cking pain
i’m so out of touch, not even close
i fell in love and they picked me up
when i leave this world, i wanna be heartbroken

- johnee lyrics

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