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johnny n. - optimized lyrics

intro
they doubted me
constantly
put me down
deeper each day
deserted me
left me feeling so strange
must be destiny
all the hate created the best person i could be
and now i’ve come to speakits too late to leave

sit in your seat
you’re about to reap what you sow
i’m stealing your soul
eating it whole
then letting it drop in the toilet bowl
you shoulda known id be coming back for more
don’t you try to run, i already locked the door
lets see how you like it being forced to frown
let me tear you completely down
then lets sprinkle some chemical imbalance in your brain as well
sound swell?
therapist told me revenge isn’t so sweet after all
she tried calling to stop me but i blocked the call
what you don’t see is my ptsd
from all the times you -ss holes made fun of me
i was alienated to the point i ate lunch with no body
see if my family didn’t have the money for therapy
where would i be
i may have been the next andrew kehoe (key hoe)
m-ss murderin’ people
thats sick but its real
some people can’t control how they feel
and you push them til they explode
then blame it on video games, music, or tv episodes

you never know what someones going through
so why act like you do
why destroy someone you’ve never actually spoke to
if you’re gonna call me out of my sh-t
i better actually know you
if its your own insecurities
then you have to deal with it yourself, thats maturity

i know we were kids but see
i still remember everything completely
i hear your voices echoing
this problem is becoming so common lately
its crazy, all these kids k!lling
themselves from bullies at school
that make fun of us cause they think it makes them look cool
their friends all laugh, then they gang up too
so now we have quick maths, 2 + 2
so now the situation gets ended with a noose
wrapped around your little boys neck
the actual reality of it is sick
but its legitimate

now they hide it for fear of more negative attention
can you feel the tension?
not to mention he has aggression
towards his father for hitting his mother
he wish he could save her
but he’s way to scared
so he just stands there
looking behind her in the mirror
watching her make up as it smears
he sheds a tear and begins to fear
that life isn’t fair, so beware
that no matter what you do
stay close to the ones who care
and say a prayer

i dare you to live in this nightmare
no way to prepare
born into a life of despair
going nowhere

but if given’ the ability to flip the script
maybe they can find a way to learn from it
depict what goes on in their mind like a m-n-script
realize how to predict when depression hits
instead of stuffing them with pills
lets learn what that issue is that k!lls
inside and why does it make them want to die
whether its rational or if theres no reason or rhyme
said that backwards since this disease can twist your mind
to think against you all the time
i know mine is guilty of this and has not apologized
was in my head from the start, preoccupied
so much pain through so many days, couldn’t rationalize
i put the pieces together, all the stars aligned
no longer the old me, now i’m modified
all that suffering made me optimized

- johnny n lyrics

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