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johnny sebastian - ​hands lyrics

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ya know
i’ve learned to walk around inside my own head
now it may sound silly to you
but it’s been very very helpful to me
let me show you how it’s done
in case you want to try it
but first i have to close my eyes
and then i go through a certain mental configurations
and by this means i can dissolve through the outer epidermal layer
like this
my misshapen hands press b+ttons
which change the structure of my body
and i love it
move up the ribs
cut open the stomach
the only problem is
hands can’t change from it

wearing gloves in the summer
the bleak midwinter
hands snowed under since the screams
of grotesque inhumanity
from the good samaritan
my life of anti+serendipitous clarity
dead lilies in the nicu

schoolyard games were never grasped
by these things of mine
likewise my hands manifested physicalities
unable to catch, i dug my fingernails deep
insects still lingered asking if they hurt
basking in a glorious words

dear god, it’s me margaret
i’ve been bleeding
since the start of the harvest
and outsmarted by my s+x
play hard, play rough with short breaths
and never once will our fathers cry
un+octercized
this i’ll pass to my child
like a centipede
forty hands forty feet
squashing bugs underneath
and that’s the prism:
i look just like em
except the four barrel rifle
and these hands
that have gutted thee

actually i only feel alive when i dance
but when i do
what do i do with these hands
i’m asking you
i hold a tender moment
daffodils in them, but
i’m the mortician
baby, i just k!ll em



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