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johnny's - aw8 lyrics

as i await the soon+coming
effect of what i ingest
i try and take away the weight on my chest
and lay it to rest
but if i stress
am i just feeding the demon
if i address
the way i’m feeling
would it keep me depressed
so what am i seeing
i can feel it just a little
it tickles
to hear you singing
every note will change the color
and subtleties start appearing
more impressive
i appear more aggressive
and i should fear it
i can see that
its as clear as the message
and i can hear it
its a spirit
i was never rеligious
and now i’m in this situation
i can feel my appendages
start erasing
was surprisеd at how i felt in my mind
till it started racing
as i struggle with deciding
what kind of high that i’m chasing
i should double up the dose
and just try to dive in the matrix
and maybe
the sh+t i’m hiding inside
i can try and face it
so i look into myself
and that sh+t just scared me to death
i been outta touch with little humanity
i got left
why you feeling so alone if you’re kicking it with ya friends
kind of funny how ya study the differences in your heads
mind running till its sunny, you lay awake in your beds
thinking bout the past and the present
and what’s ahead
only thing
you really could guarantee that you’ll be is dead
sorry
honesty is robbery
prolly shouldn’t have said
the sh+t that made ya
switch the way ya
do what you do with a day
i’m on the way up
i ain’t been in a minute i’m tryna stay
saying
dont be afraid
wade into nothing
let the wall bleed away
see that time is the sickest game of all to play
i pray i won’t be afraid
i pray i won’t be afraid when the dust remains
but where the f+ck could this be coming from its rotting my brain
i used to pop for the pain
now i just pop cuz i’m lame
when i’m looking back and its beautiful how it take me away
i was a kid
then i blinked
and i withered away
it’s impossible to fail your entire life is a lesson
could k!ll and die in a jail or grow tired tied to depression
get p+ssed you were never rich, you could give a sh+t bout your blessings
steady spending what youre saving on smoke and stupid possessions
expecting to find a way without choosing different directions
i’m thru with making suggestions
its true i got to accept this
the circuit started connecting
when you were making projections
so cut the sh+t
cuz you should be committed to making records

i can’t
stop this
awful way i’ve been thinking

“but when the time ticks on
and the bridges burn
what the f+ck are you doing when its your turn?”
(tell ’em that you know that+)

i can’t stop
can god just
make my decision

“you just decided to quit
you’re a f+cking p+ssy
i hate you for putting fear in control”
(you ain’t really looking for the+)
right way
that i should go

“try giving living a little bit of appeal
and do it+”

my way
i should know

“i took a look through the ceiling
and started kneeling to the+”

moon
its like i’m up in the sky
when i’m in my room
the way i’m soaring through
i knew
that what cudi singing was true
from another spectrum of blue, adding colors inside the view
i been hated by just a couple
i’m lovable to a few
what i say
had been causing trouble
the day i was introduced
and the way it started was subtle
my grip on it getting loose
when i see some sh+t that’s impossible
instantly i forget
but i’m left with the way i feel
when i’m closer than i should get
i get closer each time i step
with intention into the next
couple seconds
i see the rest of the reasons i get depressed
light a smoke and i try and rest for the night
if i try my best
but as soon as my eyes close
here goes
its final caress

i, never believed in
any way
or anyone
to take me out of this hold
surrounded by darkness
night terrors and love
and a crippling addiction
convinced of a false reality that
the meaning of life
has no meaning at all
and it eats you alive

- johnnys lyrics

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