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jon kaplan, al kaplan - put the f*cking lotion in the basket lyrics

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[buffalo bill]
it rubs the lotion on its skin
it does this when its told
it rubs the lotion on its skin
or else it gets the hose

and when it’s done
there’s one more thing
a simple little task, it’s
put the f-cking lotion in the basket

put the f-cking lotion in the basket
all these stupid women are the same
helps me not to think of them as human
so i call them “it” instead of by their names

[victim]
mister, please, no more abuse!
can’t you see there’s no excuse?
my father’s probably wondering where i’ve been

[bill]
i’ll starve you so your skin gets loose!
stop crying now, you big fat moose!
just put the f-cking lotion on your skin!

and then put the f-cking lotion in the basket
your chances for survival are remote
i’m impervious to all your silly whining, so
pipe down before i jam a moth right down your f-cking throat

[victim]
mister, please, my mom’s got money!
let me go, this isn’t funny!
the cops are sure to send somebody
turn me loose, don’t be a dummy

[bill]
listen to you scream and wail!
keep it down, you f-cking whale!
mind the broken fingernail
the last girl climbed halfway, but failed

(bill hums over the victim’s screaming, then a dog barks)

[bill]
precious?

[victim]
she’s down here, you piece of sh-t!

[bill]
put the f-cking poodle in the basket!
i’d k!ll you, but there’s someone at the door
don’t make me get my gun and shoot you
it’s a waste of skin, they don’t sell fat girls in a f-cking store!

[bill and victim]
put my f-cking precious in the basket!
(i’ve got your precious in my hands!)
don’t you hurt my one and only friend!
(her leg is broken, she needs a vet!)
you don’t know what pain is, but i’ll teach you
(so sit and listen to me, it’s not too late to send me home, you’ll go to jail!)
if you lay a f-cking finger on my poodle’s pretty head!

[both]
put the f-cking lotion in the basket!

- jon kaplan al kaplan lyrics

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