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jon lajoie - started as a baby lyrics

[intro]
yo!
uh!
motherf-ckers out there be talking about started from the bottom,
starting with nothing, ha!
y’all don’t know sh-t!
that don’t compare to the struggle i had to go through.
y’all better recognize, motherf-ckers!
cause me…

[hook x2]
i started as a baby,
a tiny little baby,
now look at me, uh,
now look at me.

[verse 1]
when everybody look at me, yo, they can tell that i’m a grown-up,
six-foot-one, facial hair, with the coffee cup,
people saying ‘wh-ssup’ when they see me on the block.
cause they know i’m on the tour and i know how to talk.
but back in the day i couldn’t talk, i was a baby,
i didn’t even know what english was, it sounds crazy.
i couldn’t even walk, my baby legs were way too weak,
look at me now communicating on my two feet.
and eating solid foods whenever the f-ck i want,
celery, broccoli, spaghetti, smokey cheese and croissant.
but y’all, when i was a newborn child it wasn’t this way,
breast milk was the only food my stomach could take.
because i didn’t have teeth, motherf-cker, i couldn’t chew,
b-tch, look at me now, i’m f-cking biting into fresh fruit.
saying ‘f-ck you’ to all the haters talking sh-t
who say i was never a baby, i was born like this.
b-tch, just because you see me sitting on a toilet,
don’t mean i don’t know what it’s like to feel a diaper with a load of sh-t.

[hook]

[verse 2]
i drive to work every day to go make some dollar bills,
the reason i can do this is that i have basic motor skills,
which i developed over time, but, yo, back in the day,
this sh-t was way too complicated for my tiny baby brain.
no comprehension of the concept of motorized transportation,
didn’t even understand the concept of changing locations,
in the car seat, i stroll, yo, i didn’t give a f-ck,
just as long as when i cried i had a t-tty to suck.
but i come a long way, today i drive my own car,
as a baby i never thought i would make it this far.
contemplating the future was literally impossible,
at birth empirical knowledge can be a big obstacle.
but being born a baby didn’t stop me, i am not a quitter,
i kept being alive, so over time, my body got bigger,
life experience and education helped develop my brain,
look at me now, i’m a grown-up, things done changed!

[hook]

[hook]
being a baby wasn’t easy,
but it made me who i am,
if you were never a baby,
well, you wouldn’t understand.
it sounds crazy, but before being a baby,
i was split in half (two parts),
half in my mom, the other half
was in my dad’s n-ts-ck (means his t-st-cl-s).

[verse 3]
that’s right, b-tch, i even used to be microscopic,
shot out of my dad’s d-ck into mom’s uterus,
nine months later i was sucking on my mom’s t-t,
thirty years later i recorded this f-cking hit!

[hook]

[outro]
oh, yeah… i’m getting paper!
sh-t, when i was a baby, i didn’t even know what paper was,
i didn’t even know that you could exchange it for goods and services.
i didn’t even know what goods and services were.
what about you, mc v-g-n-?
(when i was a baby, i didn’t even know that owning a lot of guns
was the best thing you could do for safety.
when i was a baby, i was sooo stupid! )

- jon lajoie lyrics

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