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jonathan coulton - ikea lyrics

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long ago in days of yore
it all began with a god named thor
there were vikings and boats
and some plans for a furniture store
it’s not a bodega, it’s not a mall
and they sell things for apartments smaller than mine
as if there were apartments smaller than mine

ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of nors-m-n
ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
everyone has a home
but if you don’t have a home you can buy one there

so rent a car or take the bus
lay your cash down and put your trust
in the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller size
billy the bookcase says h-llo
and so does a table whose name is ingo
and the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends call him karl

ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of nors-m-n
ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
everyone has a home
but if you don’t have a home you can buy one there

ikea: plywood, brushed steel
ikea: meatb-lls, tasty
ikea: allen wrenches
all of them for free
all of them for me

i’m sorry i said ikea sucks
i just bought a table for 60 bucks
and a chair and a lamp
and a shelf and some candles for you
i was a doubter just like you
till i saw the american dream come true
in new jersey, they got a godd-mned swedish parade

ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of nors-m-n
ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
everyone has a home
but if you don’t have a home you can buy one there

- jonathan coulton lyrics

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