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jonathan mathis - dear christ lyrics

[intro: jonathan mathis]
sick of this shit!

[verse 1: jonathan mathis]
dear christ
i’ve been thinking a lot about what’s the meaning of my life, although it’s all i got
all these people say that i’m overreacting but i’m not, so to calm myself down all these percocets i pop, and
believe me lord, for sure, drugs have been my last resort, but what am i supposed to do when human life is this distorted?
i’m feeling so terrible i think i might be biploar, my wife elaine is dying, lord, i wish that you’d restore her
when we first met, i made a vow that til’ death do us part
but now that death is getting close, letting her go is getting hard – and looking at our past to see that we’ve made it this far, we’ve been the strongest couple in the world; got plenty battle scars
and on extremely bad days i contemplate slitting my wrists
it’s a more productive way to let out pain then raising fists
(?) , i’m gonna go give her the kiss of death, p.s
it’s nothing personal, i just don’t want to live

[chorus: sampled from kansas]
carry on, my wayward son
there’ll be peace when you are done
lay your weary head to rest
don’t you cry no more

[verse 2: jonathan mathis]
dear christ, hi there, it’s me again;
i’m praying this message to you instead of writing it in pen
cause if i k!ll myself before i mail the letter you wouldn’t get to hear me demonstrate my last and final sins
i’ve been feeling super stressed recently. it seems like everybody in the world just wants a f-cking piece of me
because every time that i’m down everybody just kicks at me, i’ve learned that in this f-cked up life nothing is as it seems to be
the gr-ss always seems to be greener on the other side, but the other side for me has always been learning how to fly;
but in order to do that i must first learn how to die but what’s been holding me back is not really knowing why..-
why i’ve been hopelessly going through all this pain, this bottling up inside me and vexing me more insanely, and i’ve thought about it, i won’t k!ll myself today, but p.s. i’ll hit you back up when my thinking starts to change – amen

[chorus]

[verse 3: jonathan mathis]
dear christ, i’m writing you tonight, just to let you know that i will be taking my life
i’m actually surprised that i’m even still alive, because i would’ve done it sooner but i wouldn’t use a knife
everywhere i go, everybody always lies to me
this isn’t a suicide note, yo, it’s more like a diary
alcoholics write because the perfect world’s a winery, because even life can’t live up to the f-cking hype it tries to be
this time i’m not lying, i’ve been planning it for weeks
i mean i’m pressing on this pen so hard it’s bleeding through the sheets
but through all this shit it’s been impossible for me to sleep, i can’t even record this song because it’ll probably get leaked
i’m serious man, i’m not f-cking playing
i’m in it to win it, i appreciate you giving me this life for me to k!ll it
reminiscing of the sickest remix i did was wayne’s a mili, wait i’m losing focus man, i’ll be right back in a minute

[chorus]

[verse 4:
i’ve got my focus back, i just hit my bong and this time i’ve decided to make this note extra long
i’m just doing what i’m told, they always said i don’t belong
and my life is so horrible, when have i ever been wrong?
i don’t wanna live in a world where the government feeds us lies, and everybody that seems nice are really demons in disguise
other people’s brains just aren’t as educated as mine cause i’m just getting to it sooner but we all will meet our demise
(ugh) i’m always just so f-cking depressed, i’m always f-cking angry and i’m always f-cking stressed
i’m tired of my mother always breathing down my neck
and i’m sick of all the bullies, what the f-ck did you expect?
why’d you put me in this environment? i can’t f-cking tell where it’s impossible to be the man unless you’re f-cking helped, that’s all for now, i’m bout to load this round and k!ll myself, p.s. i’m excited to meet you, unless i go to h-ll!
[*gun round*]

[outro 1: sampled from nirvana]
i’m so happy, cause today i found my friends, they’re in my head
i’m so ugly, that’s okay, cause so are you, we’ve broken our mirrors
sunday morning is everyday, for all i care, and i’m not scared
light my candles, in a daze, cause i’ve found god-

[outro 2: unknown source]

- jonathan mathis lyrics

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