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jonathan something - #1 dad lyrics

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and then on the 7th day
even god had had to take a break
oh lordy lordy, ain’t it getting late
i could sure go for a whisky straight

when i finish with the dirty deed
i think i’ll move up to albany
sell the rich kids expensive weed
then take my luck to tennessee

maybe start me a cattle ranch
find a young wife and good horse#hand
i got an eye for the cowboy stuff
f#ck a savior, i done, had enough

then one day his phone would buzz
it’d be adam his android son
saying papa i could use some help
i think we opened up the gates of h#ll

and eve his golem girl
wearing a leaf over her virgin pearl
says i couldn’t help but eat that fruit
it was half off now what would jesus do?

oh holy sh#t you two what have you done?
you’ve gone and screwed the pooch for everyone
now every being for eternity
will be f#cked or else be f#cked by me

last i heard they had a couple sons
the farmer brother k!lled the other one
just what the h#ll is with this family?
you couldn’t find this on late night tv

well i thought noah was a decent dude
until his boy had found him drunk and nude
so noah cursed him and he cast him out
and messed it all up for another round

and so god he put his sandal down
and divvied up the boys in every town
you can’t play at all if you can’t play nice
then threw away our only set of dice

now i feel for god i really do
his only good son loved a prostitute
and went and p#ssed off all the roman boys
they ran him ragged like a child’s toy

i’m sure that god just wants to be a lone
watching sopranos or the game of thrones
but i can’t help but feel a little bad
so i got him this mug that says #1 dad

- jonathan something lyrics

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