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jonny farias - why? lyrics

[part i: produced by lucid soundz]

[intro]
if i keep you in my thoughts, the “what ifs” keep popping up
the “what ifs” keep popping up
they keep popping up
life can be sometimes ridiculous
do you even know what you want?
i’m tired of running in circles
(tbd)

[verse: jonny farias]
it’s been crazy up in my mental, so welcome to paranoia
reminiscing ‘bout my days in california
at wit’s end, but been trying to keep the chin high
consume a lot of food for thought, but it don’t sit right
pitched lines to everyone when things were looking grim
at my lowest, i tend to sugarcoat the shape i’m in
through the cracks, i slip, in quicksand, i sink
all aboard the tanking ship, you blink and then it’s missed
life goes on, why can’t i do the same?
everybody’s having fun, why can’t i do the same?
this sting’s excruciating, these things acc-mulate
cast my sins into the sea, they come back like boomerang
rain on the windowpane, i’ve been waiting for the pain to stop
running out of things to blame it on
maybe it’s for the best if i stay away from y’all
monkey on my back, couldn’t shake it off
not for the senior trip, not for the talent show
not during prom night, not during finals, bro
not for your birthday, h-ll, not during most days
all-day, i feel uncomfortable in my own skin
five stages, migraines, and time wasted
the black sheep, the outcast amongst smiling faces
my gram littered with mad pictures of six-packs
they make me feel fat, it makes me feel bad
i wanna say it’s all in my head until it isn’t
cemetery visits leaving me introspective
what lies ahead is frightening, i’m feeling dizzy
forgetting what joy feels like, fully affecting my memory
i’ve been trapped in a snare, kicked off a couple prayers
submerged in the doldrums, gasping for air
in a sad state of affairs, dashing from what fears me
mad face in the mirror and can’t change the appearance
i’m broken beyond repair, don’t feel like i belong here
i don’t belong here, walk with my head hung
aggression been pent up, unhappy camper with his tent up
been stuck tryna love somebody when i got no self-love
oh, all that affection, but for what?
the love i gave you, was it enough?
my attempts to make you feel secure
made you more uncomfortable and scared than you were before, lord
they say that you’re the company you keep so keep your distance
crying timber, i lumber with splintered intuitions
i’ve let opinions take dominion over the way i’m living
imprisoned by my inhibitions, pleading for remission
grief-stricken, i’ve been letting it get to me
my grades, my sanity in jeopardy
dissatisfied, agonizingly fill my pad with lines
-n-lyzed my condition, it leaves me asking why

[break: alex trebek & james holzhauer]
and “this is for you, granny”. is your grandma still alive?
no
no, oh
you’re gonna add some more money
you have just set a one-day record, again. $131,127

[part ii: produced by nayz]

[intro]
i am champion
(tbd)

[pre-chorus]
tbd

[verse]
ton of thoughts of love and loss
they run amok, my destructive customs toxic
things are giving way, so i cut my losses
but then i’ll have nothing left (nothing left)
why am i living a life that don’t seem real?
why do i always have to make things a big deal?
why do i try if i’ll just create problems?
why do i ruin everything i’m a part of?

[chorus]
you’re the one i want in my life, baby, stay a while
you always, always find a way to make me smile
i know it’s stupid, but i just can’t help myself
i just can’t help myself, i just can’t help myself
you’re the one i want in my life, baby, stay a while
you always, always find a way to make me smile
i know it’s stupid, but i just can’t help myself
i just can’t help myself, my life’s a living h-ll

[bridge]
if he bleeds, he bleeds, if he dies, he dies
blood on the paper so you can feel what the pain like
if he bleeds, he bleeds, if he dies, he dies
don’t try and bother dealing with a lost cause
if he bleeds, he bleeds, if he dies, he dies
blood on the paper so you can feel what the pain like
if he bleeds, he bleeds, if he dies, he dies
man in the mirror, look your k!ller in the eyes

[outro]
why’d you never tell me how you feel?
why’d i leave my heart out and let you go for the steal?
why’d i ever get my hopes up?
even when i spoke up, i was feeling so dumb (so what?)
why’d you go so soon?
that night we prayed for you, thought you’d make it to june
i barely made it to june, began to stray from the group
a demon got me at noon, the tar won’t let me move (i think you’re the tar pit)
will you remember who you are in it all?
who are you? remind me who you are
i’m beginning to forget, i’m filled up with regrets
lord, help me see the blessings, i was doing well but then
when february ended, everything caved in
i started to regress, i think i need some rest
i’ve been trying to catch some z’s, but that’s a catch-22
‘cause i never got no time, never got no time, never

- jonny farias lyrics

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