jordin kare - callahan's bar lyrics
there is a bar called callahan’s
it’s really quite a place
there’s aliens there every night
from every world and race
and when the puns start flying
as they do at quite a rate
not even steel+jawed robots
can quite keep their faces straight
spider, oh spider, why won’t you tell us where
callahan’s is hidden, and we’ll do our drinking there
a time traveler comes in each week
and buys a couple beers
hе drinks them down, then taps his belt
and promptly disappеars
next week, same time, he’s back again
still potted to the ears
he’s been on one long bender
for some twenty+thousand years
spider, oh spider, why won’t you tell us where
callahan’s is hidden, and we’ll do our drinking there
there is a guy with funny eyes
his name is michael finn
he carries quite an +rs+nal
tucked underneath his skin
his masters had him programmed once
to do the whole earth in
and the only thing that stopped him
was a glass of homemade gin
spider, oh spider, why won’t you tell us where
callahan’s is hidden, and we’ll do our drinking there
a frigid+blooded methane breather
wandered in one night
and announced to one and all
that he was lookin’ for a fight
mike said “i’ll have no fighting here
in any shape or form.”
and with a single mighty blow
he knocked the fellow… warm?
spider, oh spider, why won’t you tell us where
callahan’s is hidden, and we’ll do our drinking there
a large grey wolf paced to the bar
and ordered in a growl
mike dusted off an old brown jug
he gave a joyful howl
one swallow and there stood a man
t’was quite a trick to pull
but the liquor, it was moonshine
and the bottle, it was full
spider, oh spider, why won’t you tell us where
callahan’s is hidden, and we’ll do our drinking there
doc webster, feeling genial
once told us of the day
he mixed chromosomes from vegetables
with canine dna
he crossed lassie with a cantelope
said mike, “so what’d you get?”
“why a melon+collie baby
and one h+ll of a startled vet!”
spider, oh spider, why won’t you tell us where
callahan’s is hidden, and we’ll do our drinking there
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