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jorma taccone - the night before christmas 1967 (spoken word) lyrics

ahem, alright
this is spider-man, the year is 1967
i’m going to be reading ’twas the night before christmas

’twas the night before christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
and certainly not criminals
the stockings were hung by the chimney with care
in hopes that st. nicholas soon would be there
the children were nestled all snug in their beds
while visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads
and mamma in her ‘kerchief, and i in my cap
had just settled our brains…
what version is this?
had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap
when my spidey senses started tingling
out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter
i sprang from my bed to see what was the matter
hey, there better not be any nefarious activity out here!
’cause my spidey senses are ring ranging off the hook!
my spidey senses
away to the window, i flew like a flash
tore open the shutters and threw up the sash
the moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
gave a l-ster of midday to objects below
when what to my wondering eyes should appear
but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer
with a little old driver so lively and quick
i knew in a moment, it must be st. nick
more rapid than eagles, his coursers they came
and he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name
“now, dasher! now, dancer! now prancer and vixen!
on, comet! on, cupid! on, dunder and blixen!”

you know what? you know what?
this is long, this is really long
i, i’ll just skip to the end here
da da da da da da
“sugarplums,” let’s see, “threw up the sash”
“moon on the breast,” that’s funny
“chubby elf turned with a jerk”
here we go, big finish, and…

but i heard him exclaimed, ere he drove out of sight
“happy christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

that good?
am i filling out a time card or you, you gonna send it to judy?
alright, great
i have a splitting headache
christmas party last night
i was the ten sheets to the wind
threw up on the train tracks on 34th
these kids saw me and…
not a good look for a spider-man
anyway…
you’re not still recording, are you?
okay, great

- jorma taccone lyrics

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