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josh a & jake hill - suicidal thoughts lyrics

[chorus: jake hill]
i’m not suicidal, i don’t wanna f-cking die
i just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
but every day i feel like dying
every day i feel like dying (dying…)

[verse 1: josh a]
why do i even try?
why do i even write lyrics about how i’m living the life when i’m battling pain and my demons at night
trying to find a new outlet
the devil pouncin’
i hear him howlin’, my vision cloudin’
man i tried to escape but there ain’t no way
try to be strong when i deal with the pain (yuh)
but i’m ditching the coffin, so my family has options
gotta work till’ i’m dead
so that they get the best
don’t wanna set up a bad example cause the kids looking up
can’t leave in shambles can’t make them think clocking out’s ok
so f-ck suicide i’m here to stay

[bridge: josh a]
try to free my mind
i don’t know what’s right
wasting all my time, tryna find the light
try to free my mind
i don’t know what’s right
wasting all my time, tryna find the light (nah, man)
i’ll be out here runnin’, i’ll be runnin’ from myself now
gunnin’ demons down find my way out of this h-ll now
i’ll be runnin’ now, i’ll be runnin’ from myself now
gunnin’ demons down, find my way out of this h-ll now

[chorus: jake hill]
i’m not suicidal, i don’t wanna f-cking die
i just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
but every day i feel like dying
every day i feel like dying (dying…)

[verse 2: jake hill]
one too many bad thoughts inside me
got a hole in my heart put the past behind me
i’m pressed with time, i’m stressed with life, my breath is ice
i guess i might just bottle it up some more just like always
barely standing, crawling down the hallways
sink into my bed, with death inside my head
(yeah) that note you found i didn’t mean it
just wish i had a better sense of meaning
never meant to let you down
i’ve been down now racing thoughts had to drown them out (f-ck)
never giving in i swear to god, no matter how many times i pray to a god
i don’t believe in just to see if i will never wake up
but he called my bluff

[bridge: josh a]
try to free my mind
i don’t know what’s right
wasting all my time, tryna find the light
try to free my mind
i don’t know what’s right
wasting all my time, tryna find the light
(nah, man)
i’ll be out here runnin’, i’ll be runnin’ from myself now
gunnin’ demons down find my way out of this h-ll now
i’ll be runnin’ now, i’ll be runnin’ from myself now
gunnin’ demons down, find my way out of this h-ll now

[chorus: jake hill]
i’m not suicidal, i don’t wanna f-cking die
i just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
but every day i feel like dying
every day i feel like dying (dying…)

[outro: jake hill]
i’m not suicidal, i don’t wanna f-cking die
i just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
but every day i feel like dying
every day i feel like dying (dying…)

- josh a jake hill lyrics

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