josh ritter - galahad lyrics
the angel of the holy grail saw galahad come riding, so
he took the holy grail off the shelf.
and inside the holy chapel made for holy grail hiding,
the angel could be seen to smile to himself.
“if you’re the great sir galahad from now on,” said the
angel, “may all angels call me blessed of my race.”
“if you’re not the great sir galahad i warn you, keep
on riding, and if you are i pray you’ll let me see your
face.”
galahad removed his helmet, said, “good angel, look
upon me, fear not for i bring tidings of great joy.”
“for long years the grail you’ve guarded now you get to
let me drink it, how happy must be angels thus
employed.”
“all the favours that you shower upon me, a simple
angel,” said the angel, “your benevolence abounds.”
“take your boots off, great sir galahad; for by your
astounding beauty whatever ground you stand on turns to
holy ground.”
galahad took off his boots and he watched the ground
quite closely and the angel smiled to himself again.
he said, “i can’t believe i’m asking, but sir galahad
please tell me – what is it that makes you want to go
to heaven?”
“in heaven there’s no lamb chops, queen guineveres for
hand jobs, marijuana, kenny rogers or ecstasy.”
“no pillaging, no rape, perhaps you’ve come by some
mistake to me, this seems more error than knight
errantry.”
“now what about the stable boys, i know you think
they’re handsome, and some of them they think you’re
awful handsome too.”
“and sitting up in heaven you’ll still think about them
often, when you’re an angel thinking’s all that you can
do.”
at this sir galahad got angry, “angel,” he said, “don’t
you tempt me, i wish to go to heaven and not to h-ll.”
“so when stable boys look lonesome, when the women call
me handsome, i’ll hold my virtue very firmly by
myself.”
“i guarantee you’ll hold it often,” said the angel, “oh
one more thing – before you drink the cup please take
your armour off.”
“i gotta carry you to heaven and despite what you’d
imagine i have trouble bearing heavy things aloft.”
sir galahad stood naked and a pile of his armour, his
boots and helmet scattered all around.
his perfect lips they sipped the grail, his perfect
heart commenced to fail, his perfect body fell upon the
ground.
the angel smoked a cigarette, when he was sure galahad
was dead he picked all of his clothes up off the floor.
then i put on his boots and armour, i laid his body on
the altar, put his helmet on then i headed for the
door.
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