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jrew nixon - ho ho ho lyrics

[intro]
it’s that time of the year, but never fear
mr. nixon’s here, to bring holiday cheer
ho ho ho

[chorus]
happy holidays, have a merry christmas
ho ho hoes, that’s what’s on my wish list
that’s right, put these b+tches on notice
i walk into chili’s and i f+ck the hostess (ho ho)
get it? swag like a pirate
yo ho ho, that’s how many women i get
if your girl’s naughty she can walk my plank
i need a bottle of rum and a booty to spank

[verse 1]
wish list, it’s more like a hit list
crossing off these b+tches, cause they can’t resist this
getting head on kwanzaa, in the sack on christmas
i might park my snowplow in a jehovah’s witness
n0body’s got as many hoes as me
just like santa, that’s why i’m so jolly
every night, i’m in another chimnеy
getting head, or maybe a sweet rimmy
all around thе world, call me old saint nick
they can’t get enough, women want my d+ck
these girls are like elves, playing with my sack
eat my milk and cookies for a midnight snack
wake up and i trim my m+ff buffer
no gifts but i got a stocking stuffer
the biggest candy cane that you’ve ever seen
poke too hard, i might break your spleen
[chorus]
happy holidays, have a merry christmas
ho ho hoes, that’s what’s on my wish list
that’s right, put these b+tches on notice
i walk into chili’s and i f+ck the hostess (ho ho)
get it? swag like a pirate
yo ho ho, that’s how many women i get
if your girl’s naughty she can walk my plank
i need a bottle of rum and a booty to spank

[verse 2]
picture this, 2 am on christmas eve
at the club with a stripper and we bout to leave
told that b+tch i’d make her feel right
santa claus ain’t the the only one coming tonight
had some vodka, a whiskey, a couple gin and tonics
uh, what’s your name girl, valerie? veronica?
i’m a little hungry so we stopped at sonic
and that’s when i found out she celebrates chanukah
all good, i’ll still light up your menorah
pound the p+ssy till you’re begging me for more of
this meat, even though it ain’t kosher
she h+rny like a reindeer, keep your composure
probably wouldn’t f+ck her, if i was sober
but i shut the vag down, put that sh+t in foreclosure
the next morning i gave her the tip
then i put a tiny yarmulke on my d+ck, and said
[chorus]
happy holidays, have a merry christmas
ho ho hoes, that’s what’s on my wish list
that’s right, put these b+tches on notice
i walk into chili’s and i f+ck the hostess (ho ho)
get it? swag like a pirate
yo ho ho, that’s how many women i get
if your girl’s naughty she can walk my plank
i need a bottle of rum and a booty to spank

[verse 3]
she said happy christmas, cause she was british
i ain’t harry potter, but i’ll pound your hairy tw+tter
afterward she wanted to have tea and crumpets
i said put some music on, so she played my trumpet
it’s kinda weird, she calls me santa baby
gobbles up my turkey then finishes the gravy
12 days and eight crazy nights
i got hoes of every color like christmas lights
nine ladies dancing, and eight maids milking
and i’m the only piper left in the building
i’ll satisfy ’em all, god willing
then pray to the lord that we don’t have children
like rudolph, i’m feeling so fly today
you can’t get this high, oh and by the way (what)
your grandma didn’t get run over by a reindeer
she’s a gilf and she gives the best brain here
i swear she had a bad hip when i met her
bent her ass over in a christmas sweater
for the holiday i’m never home alone
all these p+ssies die hard, call me bone capone
i give these girls the jingle bell rock
i mean, i’m basically the kris kringle of c+ck
so come on over, take a ride on my sleigh
you’ll get handicap parking for a couple of days
[chorus]
happy holidays, have a merry christmas
ho ho hoes, that’s what’s on my wish list
that’s right, put these b+tches on notice
i walk into chili’s and i f+ck the hostess (ho ho)
get it? swag like a pirate
yo ho ho, that’s how many women i get
if your girl’s naughty she can walk my plank
i need a bottle of rum and a booty to spank

[outro]
yeah, i got that holiday spirit
so let’s deck the halls, and jingle my b+lls
trim the tree, and suck on my d
hang some mistletoe and then fist a ho
haha, have a jizzy christmas y’all

- jrew nixon lyrics

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