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jsbxghoul – behold, crane style lyrics

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[jsbxghoul, verse 1]:

yeah, yeeeaaahh, uh….

yo

i gave up on my glow up
to focus on my growing up
i had some bad days but i can’t say life was bad growing up
hands? i didn’t hold enough
the only time they held me was to hold me up
if the memory was dope enough, i’d try reliving the high
but relationships after high school denied me, of continuing living that lie
that maybe we would be together forever
asking myself, is this really human or not?
as if it was up to the birds and the bees and for god to decide
that’s not skin, that just a facade
i make amends for broken hearts, i can not mend together again
birds of the same feather that’ll never share the same weather again
whether or not it was part of the plan in your head
i chose these sheets, now sleep in the bed
somethings are only meant to be thought of and left unsaid
but i spent too much time sulking in my regrets
instead of just living my life, living my life proudly
proud of the moment that my fans finally found me
proud of the skin that i’m in
my melanin isn’t melancholy
watermelons do it better for me
kool-aid that’ll shock my insulin taste better to me
i’m just a young panther in the concrete jungle
where the cops pop a shot at any sign of trouble
shoot now, and shoot later, then shoot some more
then shoot a little less, after you reload
but black skin don’t mean you walking on death row
don’t let them believe you knocking on death’s door with ya nappy hair
and your kinky curls, and your confidence
black princess, you don’t have to settle for a toad to have a prince
the idea of freedom is better as an idea
cause every time we try to execute it, people get executed
amendments get misconstrued with
regulations to create tribulations for the coming generation
that generated a generational gap
you have the blatantly racist and racially handicap
we made ignorance into a hand-me-down
sewn fear into our caps and gowns
flown near a career we would revere until the student loans start dabbing down on the lear
that flew dreams from your parent’s heart into your ears
the dreams that manifested in the adolescent womb of the young mind
that was aborted by depression
the mind miscarriage from anxiety presence
social stigmas are so omnipresent
and i ain’t no reverend, but i will take these kids to church through my songs
i will change the world, with the width of my arms
i will reach to struggling dads and single moms
i will sn-tch bombs from out of the skies
how am i to turn music to a refuge for those who seek asylum
i thought i was crazy, ’til hopped on twitter
saw a video of a palestinian dad, who tryna the legs of his baby

d-mn, how he gonna run the world now
how he s’pose to run with his friends and accidentally twist his ankle and fall down?
this is not okay, this is not okay
this the world we live in
and this is not okay
you thought you never had a choice but that’s not okay
you thought you didn’t have a voice, that’s not okay
you should be very angry
you should be painstakingly piercing potus with your grievances impatiently
you should look in the mirror and realize you’re the danger the government suppresses daily
you a king, you a queen, i don’t care if you black or white
you are supreme
you can be a soldier and lead a regime
the 12 houses of abraham ain’t limit these
latin, asian, and any other unrhyming races
i give you praises with presents i rapped to a wedding ring
hoping that maybe we can come together in the end of everything
from sea to shining sea, abundance of the love i sing
bring you a plate of some soul food you would never eat
if the evilest people had their way with the way we bring
unity to human beings like it was made for we
this may be a eulogy for the animosity in me
cause i ain’t never felt love so deep and so real right now
i never had love so deep and so real right now
my love runs deep and the feels is real right now, i’m gone…