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json - secrets [bonus track] lyrics

who do you think you are
to take what wasn’t yours
the innocence i once adored
was stripped away behind closed doors
the enemy’s inside my home
but who would ever listen to me
and all the secrets that you made me keep

[verse 1]
rains on my window pane
darkness surrounding me
footsteps outside my door
right now i’m sound asleep
the door it opens slowly
and i can hear it slightly
but i don’t move
or even look to see who it might be
someone’s next to me
their weight is on my bed
my covers pulling back
a hand is on my leg
i wanna sneak and peek
but i just can’t seem to let myself
is my father checking me
i’m nine and often wet myself
i have no options
fear got me too gripped to even move
supposed to protect but abusing me
now i’m so confused
so many emotions with his sweat drippin
i lay there motionless
hoping this nightmare soon to be over with
holding back cries, my mind is racing
closed eyes like i’m not awake and
i’d rather die than be in this situation
as he leaves i knew this secret i’d bury and hide
but hiding this secret i seem to be buried alive

[verse 2]
i’m old, on my own now, i’m grown now
but this secret still won’t leave me alone now
wow, i felt my innocence melt away
was living promiscuous freely giving myself away
why would i protect you
truth i would hide and cover
would anyone believe me
how could i tell my mother
confusion turned to sadness
sadness led to me stressing
stressing led to the anger
anger led to depression
then i was arrested by your truth
that would truly free me
the gospel gripped my heart
showed me how the father see me
biblical counseling
brothers and sister in my midst
helped me endure it
though it happened i’d never forget
but i do have a hope
that i do truly know
in heaven every memory will be whiter than snow
so though i struggle to forgive you, i fight cause i must
i must forgive you cause i know he’s forgiven me much

- json lyrics

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