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jtj paradox - internalized pressure lyrics

verse:
wake up in the morning i have a sudden migraine
just another feeling in my head lingering in my brain
i walk around go outside a nice breath of fresh air
i may do something extraordinary but n0body seems to care
but whatever it is what is i’m in my own mind
so why do i bother sometimes looking for a truth i simply cannot find
because in the end all my mind needs is closure
i witness all the madness in the world. i’m trying to keep my composure
some days it’s harder to maintain than others
or perhaps it’s an illusion in my mind, call it ‘internalized pressure’
i want to conquer my doubts worries and fеars
sometimes i’ll hang around my own friends wondеring if i should be here
i don’t know why this is i only live to impress
sometimes i lay down depressed from all this internalized stress
it’s a mess the way my mind plays tricks on me
sometimes all i want to do is see the stars as far as the eye can see
my feelings can be so simple yet so complex
i talk nonsense ramble on and just repeat the process
sometimes i wonder how i even fathom my own existence
my internal system to the conditions that i choose to live in
every single day i worry about what will go wrong
i’m even contemplating if i should write this song
consider this a personal journal within the mind of an insomniac
i might be absolutely fine before the expectations strike back
for those who feel the same i feel slightly less isolated
in a world where it’s internalized and glamorized to be hated
i wonder if sometimes i fetishize my own sadness
and make everything sound worse than it actually is
but when you’re in your own mind logic always comes last
sometimes i have a problem letting go of the past
i’m worried if i’ll even get to take college
or if i’m already too smart and don’t require more knowledge
but that’s not true everyday we grow and learn more
i wonder how many times i’ve had these exact thoughts before
why am i venting on a piece of paper trust me i don’t know
but sometimes i’m a little mad at myself and trust me when i say it shows

- jtj paradox lyrics

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